Life, 1912-12-19 · page 37 of 40
Life — December 19, 1912 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and promotional content**, not political satire. It contains: 1. **Gold Armor Whiskey advertisement** - a luxury spirits pitch emphasizing quality and mail-order convenience 2. **"Good Advice" humorous anecdote** - a light joke about a litigious man constantly consulting his solicitor, who finally suggests he "soap" his nose so it will slip through his neighbor's fingers when grabbed 3. **Legal definitions section** - satirical definitions of legal terms (fines, cross-examination, verdicts) that poke gentle fun at the legal profession's opacity and irony 4. **Mark Twain Author's National Edition advertisement** - promoting an affordable, multi-volume set of Twain's complete works, emphasizing value (same quality as expensive editions, tremendous sales volume keeps prices low) 5. **Sexology book advertisement** - educational health manual The page's tone is **light, commercial satire** rather than serious political commentary. The humor targets familiar subjects: alcohol consumption, obsessive litigation, legal jargon, and consumer value propositions—typical of Life magazine's general-interest audience.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
je domes. smoking plications Legal Definitions An attorney's fee is what is left from ‘A fine is so called from the remark see ment after subtracting the court ncert for linist of a trust official after being ordered to eI , & Ameri. Pay one instead of being sent to jail The wend lary is denyed from siete ot goad cake feared one meaning “to swear,” a reference to e feared. ‘ A Cross.examination is the process of the effect of their verdicts on litigants. Popelties ane - : A verdict is an agreement between evening convincing. the witness!:that beris either twelve jurymen as to which side needs a Miser a liar or an idiot. : Mischa : , wo the money most st, as an An accident case is an insulting ac- The decisions of judges and juries are called findings because for the win- ner a judgment is usually like finding money.—Green Bag. cusation against a philanthropic railroad : a corporation which fills every right- When you want a whiskey that is a little bet- minded judge with indignation. terthan you can get at your club, | have it for you. Vv. O. S. GOLD ARMOR WHISKEY A blend of straight Bourbons, one selected for its aroma, another for its body and a third for its favor, and all taken from my own family’s collec- tion of rare old Bourbons—so harmonized as to produce that exquisite bouquet, the eternal quest of the connoisseur. Undoubtedly an ideal in whiskey, but if you don’t find it so you can have cert by th Louis violinist, son. —Concert IHE AUTHOR’S NATIONAL EDITION your money returned, has been issued to meet the urgent Sold only by mail, 4 quarts $6. Send check appeal for a moderate priced set of all oruse your business stationery. Express prepaid. his writings. RANDOLPH ROSE, Formerly the cheapest set cost twice as Yo ee hee aes much as the new edition, yet the Author’s = — — National Edition contains the same number of volumes and the same text, word for word, Good Advice as the higher priced set. Mr. Lovelor was one of those pco- Its paper and binding are of good sub- ple who on every possible occasion con- : 8 : fi - wilted Bin solleftor, Nothlug pleaued stantial quality. The illustrations are by the him more than to go to law. The law- same artists represented in expensive sets. yers regarded him as an invaluable as- We believe that never before in the history oT Have ‘exe ‘grOaSIy) fh 1 he of publishing has so good a set of the copy- | exclaimed, rushing into the office of his righted books of a great author been offered / solicitor for the seventh time in three at so low a price. e pr! r “In what way?” asked the solicitor, The p iceis possible because the popularity somewhat! wearily. | of Mark Twain assures a tremendous sale, ele- “My next door neighbor has declared con- he will pull my nose next time he meets ‘ me. What shall I do about it? levoid “Well,” said the lawyer, as if he had money given the case duc deliberation, “1 uality), should soap it, then it will slip through his fingers. Good day! My bill will follow in due course.”—Tit-Bits. “ HARPER & BROTHERS = 7 Franklin Sq., New York City Please send me for exami. nation, carriage free, a set of MARK TWAIN’S WORKS, Author's. National Edition, twenty-five volumes, cloth binding. It is understood T may retain the set for five days, and at the expira- tion of that time, if T do not care for the books, T will return them at your expente. If T keep the books, T will remit $2.00 a month until the full price, f25.00%has been paid, of, within thirty days, $25.75. a8 payment in full. A Happy Marriage largely on a know!- edge of the whole truth about self and sex and their relation to life and health, This knowledge does not come intellizently of itself, nor correctly from ordinary, every-day sources. SEXOLOGY son ro (IMustrated) by iam H. Walling, A.M.. 3f.D, imparts in a clear, wholesome way in one volume is Knowledge a Young > Medical Kuowledge a Hu . Knowled: She Ave. Signature wala Have. nowledge a Mother Si Impart to Her Daughter. Medical Knowledge a Wife Should Haves Allin one volume. Illustrated, $2, postpald. ther People’s ‘Write foe "On Opiaions” and’ Table of Contents. Puritan Pub. Co., 776 Perry Bldg., Phila., Pa. Send books to, Mark Twaln's Baytoed Home, Haneibal, Missear! ‘A Catalogue of Our Standard Sets of Books will be sent you upon request comicbooks.com