Life, 1912-12-19 · page 34 of 40
Life — December 19, 1912 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces of satirical commentary: **"The Government Debt"** article satirizes the Aldrich Plan's financial rhetoric. Life mocks a National City Bank officer's claim that converting public debt from a "false and fictitious basis" to an "investment basis" would benefit the economy. The author argues this is meaningless jargon: a debt's actual basis is the ability to repay it, and the U.S. (as the world's greatest power) should already be able to do so. The satire suggests Wall Street is using confusing language to obscure rather than clarify financial policy—implying the Aldrich Plan is financial trickery dressed in impressive-sounding terminology. **"His Implements"** is a brief humorous anecdote about a child's literal interpretation of social convention. When asked to set three forks per place, she logically assumes each guest also needs three knives, not understanding that implements aren't distributed equally. The page is otherwise dominated by advertisements for holiday books from J.B. Lippincott Company.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Perfect DressTie | he tie with the button-on tabs Nhe tie is anchored to the front collar button, the central and only proper place, thus positive- ly centering the knot when tieing. 5O cents and better: Keys 8 Lockwood Mew York The Government Debt The following bon mot was offered the other day by an officer of the Na- tional City Rank as one of the highly important things that Aldrich’s Big Rank plan would effect: “The conversion of the public debt from a false and fictitious basis to an investment basis. We are exceedingly anxious to find cut what this means. We are not much in favor of the public debt at Lest, but if we are going to have it at all it should certainly be on the proper basis. The basis of a debt is the ability to pay it when due. Does the gentleman from New York wish to imply that the greatest world power of all history is unable to pay its debts? And how is this basis to be changed by thimble-rigging the currency laws? What would an “investment ba: be? Would someone invest in this debt if we changed the basis? That would be the most hazardous invest- ment on record, something quite new to good business. When people in- vest they usually look about for credits, not for debts. Or is it that the debt is to invest in something or somebody? The only way it can invest is by paying itself off and then there is neither debt nor basis. It is too'much, Horatius. Our phil- osophy is too elementary to unveil such words. His Implements The small daughter of the house was busily setting the table for expected com- pany when her mother called to her: “Put down three forks at cach place, dear.” Having made some observations on her own account when the expected guests had dined with her mother be- ¢, she inquired thoughtfully : “Shall I give Uncle John three knives? "—Kansas City Star. J. B. LIPPINCOTT COMPANY’ HOLIDAY BOOK THE “GIFTIEST” OF ALL GIFT BOOKS _The Harbor of Love By RALPH HENRY BARBOUR Author of * The Golden Heart,” * Kitty of the Roses.” This handsome gift-book is unquestion- ably oneof Mr.Barbour’s most delightful Stories. The scenes arelaidinand about the water, and the * Harbor of Love” is reached only after many pleasant surprises. Beautifully bound and decorated. Small quarto. In aboe. $150net. Postpaid, $1.6: The Dixie Book of Days By MATTHEW PAGE ANDREWS A dainty pift-book of Southern quota- tions, anecdotes, and historical incidents for every day in'the a yess, Frontispiece. 12mo. Decorated cloth, $i.00net. Postpaid. $1-10. Literary Hearth-Stones of Dixie Acollectisvot Mrs Picker shart such as Poe, Lanier, Ti SALLE CORBELL PI “and others. 1G illustrations, I2mo, Cloth, $1.50 net. Postpaid, $1.65. Joseph Pennell’s Pictures of the Panama Canal Accet of the original lithographs costs about $400.00. The entire twenty-eight are reproduced in this volame, together with Mr. Pennell’s experiences and impressions. Beautifully prtated, ‘on dull-finished Pratt and a1 eiatically bound. ge Bvo. $1.25 net. tpaid, $1. With Carson and Frémont WIN L. SABIN ED’ A rattling good tale of fearless American pioneers, based on fact. Mlustrated. 12mo. Cloth, $1.25 net. Postpaid, $1.37. A Dixie Rose in Bloom \UGUSTA KORTRECET The Lady Doc By CAROLINE LOCKHART Author of *“ ME—SMITH" THE BIG WESTERN NOVEL OF 1912 “The humor is at times irresistible.” —Philadelphia Press. “A compelling story—one so absorbing that hours slip by unnoticed until the end is reached.""—Chicago Tribune. Mlustrated. —12mo. Cloth, $1.25 net. Postpaid, $1.37. The First Hurdle and OTHERS By JOHN REED SCOTT These stories are full of dash and go, witty dialogue, and clever character drawing. Front Flagg. 12mo. Cloth, BBice’ Potala stare A Jewel of the Seas A delighitul and charming book for girls. Frontispiece. I2mo, Cloth, $1.25 net. Postpaid, $1.37. “Pewee” Clinton—Plebe By Prot. W. 0. STEVENS * Pewee's"* adventures at Annapolis will de- lighg many youthful readers, By JESSIE KAUFMAN An enchanting novel of Hawaiian social life. Mlustrated. — 12mo. Gish $1.25 net. Postpaid, $1.37. RAD BRILGE registered 2! CLUB LINEN AND VELOUR PLAYING CAT backs patented. Four colors exc packs Goll edge Se. Des grees. 2c per at past see Teetipt of price. ‘Send for Catalog FE & CO., 144 Peart 8. New York Mlustrated. 12mo, Cloth, $1.25 net. Postpaid, $1.37. TheBoyElectriciansasDetectives ; By EDWIN J. HOUSTON ‘The adventures of three boys who form a cluly to amuse themselves in learning the use of electricity. Mlustrated. 12mo. Cloth, $1.25 net. *catpaid, $1.37, The Ordeal By CHARLES EGBERT CRADDOCK An impassioned romance of astrong man’s reawakened love for the woman who jilted him, now the widow of another man. “Frontispicee. 12mo. Cloth. $1.20 net. Postpaid, $1.32, comicbooks Mend