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Life, 1912-12-12 · page 38 of 48

Life — December 12, 1912 — page 38: what you’re looking at

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Life — December 12, 1912 — page 38: Life, 1912-12-12

What you’re looking at

This page from *Life* magazine combines advertisements and book reviews with a satirical essay on musical instruments by Antonio Ghislanzoni. **The main satire** mocks flute and clarinet players as inherently defective individuals. Ghislanzoni claims flute players possess underdeveloped intellects, marry "short-sighted women," and die tragically—a absurdist exaggeration. The clarinet section is equally caustic, suggesting the instrument literally contains "a severe cold in the head" and that clarinet players are born intellectually "obtuse" and never develop beyond that state. **The visual humor** comes from the grotesque illustration of a figure playing the flute—caricatured with an absurdly pointed nose and distorted features, embodying Ghislanzoni's mockery. **The joke's context**: This appears to be *Life's* characteristic tongue-in-cheek humor targeting both musicians and pretentious artistic circles. The essay uses deliberate logical absurdity—blaming instruments themselves for their players' supposed failures—as satirical commentary, likely poking fun at both musical snobbery and the eccentric characters drawn to classical music.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

F.R. ye to the iis by og LA VA se" Bath Soap Bowls + $5.00, se" Toilet Water == + MORNY »201- REGEN STREET- ao 4 * LONDON -Ww~ ¥ tailed by all first class Perfumery Stores La Value” serlen of Vice T Bee ment om fecelpt of stasnped Wholesale Agents ARNOLD & CO., 3,5, & 7W. 220d ‘dslety paper NEW YORK Antonio Ghislanzoni on Musi- cal Instruments (The Flute) The unhappy man who succumbs to the fascina- tions of this instrument is never one who has attained the full de- velopment of his intellectual facul- ties. He always as a pointed nose, marries a short- sighted woman and dies run over by_an omnibus. The flute is the most deadly of all instruments. It re- quires a peculiar conformation and special culture of the — thumb-nail, with a view. to those holes which have to be only half closed. The man who plays the flute fre- quently adds to his other infirmities a mania for keeping tame weasels, tur- tle doves or guinea pig: (The Clarinet) This instrument consists of a severe cold in the head, contained in a tube of yellow wood. The ‘inet was not invented by the Conservatory, but by Fate. A chiropodist may be produced by study and hard work, but the clarinet player is born, not made. The citizen predestined to the clari- net an intelligence which is almost obtuse up to the age of cighteen—a period of incubation, during which he begins to feel in his nose the first thrills of his fatal vocation, After that his intellect—limited even then—ceases its development alto- assumes colossal dimensions. band of the National Guard. his wits. Dancing ByJ.E. CRAWFORD FLITCH, M.A. Theauthordiscusses the develo; ment of all kinds of dancing skirt dancing, serpentine and latest classical and Russian dancing, etc. With 8 illustrations in color and 40 in black and white. Large 8vo, ‘Cloth, gilt top, $3.75 net. A MONUMENTAL WORK The Mineral Kingdom By Dr. REINHARD BRAUNS ‘Translated by LJ. SPENCER. M.A..F.GS. An encyclopedic and popular work treating thoroughly every | department of the Mineral King- dom. 91 fult- lates (73 in color). 275 bguree im the text. 450 | Dem; arto. Hi. | Fistocco. S7sB'neu THE BOOK OF THE WOMAN QUESTION The Advance of Woman By Mrs, JANE JOHNSTONE CHRISTIE This remarkable volume treats of the rise of the feminine from the earliest times down to the present, It is not an argument for woman's rights, but it is a most convincing picture of her proper place in the whole scheme of things. I2mo. Cloth, $1.50 net. Post- gether; but his nasal organ, in revenge, At twenty he buys his first clarinet for fourteen francs, and three months. er his landlord gives him notice. twenty-five he is admitted into the He dies of a broken heart on finding that not one of his three sons shows the slightest inclination for the instru- ment through which he has blown ] Thu Opera pany priced can Pp Car Heine Phill Acc Mr. pianis Fri Oper perfo Gatti: Ca of tl progr Sa inee Oper A newly rich woman, who was anxious to make a favorable impression in her neighborhood, decided to show her col- lection of antiques to the bishop when he called. The time came, and one by one she displayed the whole collection, ving him the history of cach picce “There,” said, pointing impres- sively to an old yellow teapot, “ that tes pot was used in the Boston Tea-Party. At she all J. B. LIPPINCOTT COMPANY’S HOLIDAY BOOKS—! THE 1912 TRAVEL BOOK OF ADVENTURE The Flowing Road ADVENTURING ON THE GREAT RIVERS OF SOUTH AMERICA By CASPAR WHITNEY Mr. Whitney's expedition to reach the unknown land at the head of the Orinoco river throuh the unfriendly Indians, and almost impassa- ble natural barriers. with only one treacherous native companion, is a chapter of travel adventure which has rarely been equaled. He alsotells of his five overland and river expeditions into the heart of South America. 24 inserts and maps. 8vo, Cloth, $3.00 net. Postpaid, $3.25. The Grandeur That Was Rome By J. C. STOBART Thisis acompanion book to" The That Was Greece." The “s purpose in this magnifi- illustrated volume has been totrace the evolution of Roman culture and civilization. Profusely illustrated. Cloth, $7.50 net. Bv0. : j A Autobiographical Sketch and Narrative of the War Between the States. With Introductory Notes By R. H. EARLY. In this volume General Early has dealt with phases of the War, mancuvres of the troops, and plans of the leaders, which no work has heretofore covered. It is written in the conscientious style, true in every detail, that would be expected from the pen of this veteran. Mlustrated. 8vo, Cloth, $3.50 net. Postpaid, $3.75. Wild Life and the Camera By A. RADCLYFFE DUGMORE, F.R.G.S. Author of ** Camera Adventures in the African Wilds,” This remarkable book covers certain of the fauna of America and con- tains 64 full-page illustrations of game animals in native environments. A book which will be of incalculable value and interest to sportsmen and lovers of natural history in this country, G4 illustrations, — 8vo. Cloth, $2.00 net. FINE LIMITED EDITIONS The Colonial Homes of Philadelphia - and Its Neighbourhood By HAROLD DONALDSON EBERLEIN and HORACE MATHER LIPPINCOTT This work describes Philadelphia's colo- nial homes and family history, giving a pic turesque account of the period. 7Zillustrations. 8vo. _ Cloth, $5.00 net. Postpaid, $5.25. Old Time Belles and Cavaliers By EDITH TUNIS SALE Acollection of intimatelife histories of the lovely women and high-born men who were the backbone of our nation in Colonial Days. This volume might be termed “*A Family History of Colonial America." Thesestories of the staunch devotion and stalwart patriot- ism of our forefathers are inspiring reading. 62 illustrations. Svo. Cloth, $5.00 net. Postpaid, $5.25 ren ew . XUM comicbooks.co