Life — December 5, 1912 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Merry Christmas! ERRY CHRISTMAS to all our friends; not only to those who are friendly to us, but to all to whom we are friendly. Merry Christmas to our admirers, if we have some; also to our critics and disapprovers. What would we do without our disapprovers! How could we add to present duties the heavy burden of self-examination and correction, so much of which they save us! Joy and full stockings to them all and long life! Merry Christmas to the President, and to the President-elect, and to all the office-holders and to all the office- seekers! What a large, wholesale, bountiful wish, to be sure! But now is the time to wish it, with March two months ahead, and the aspirants for office still all behind the chalk line. Dear aspiring friends, our,country is your pie, and we are part of our country. But don’t mind us! Help yourselves as freely as you can—to large pieces while they last, to smaller ones next, and finally to the crumbs of crust and the plate. There may not be enough to go around, but that is not a Christmas thought. It is more seasonable to dream the dream of Father Christmas Debs; the multitude invited to sit down and basketfuls of offices gathered up after the feeding. To the Third Party Candidate Merry Christmas, and congratulations that Santa’ Claus is not going to leave any third term stick in his stocking! Here’s wishing staunch ribs and a Lully time to the Indispensable One and every enjoyment and valuable ac- quisition that is compatible with con- stitutional government by the people under the laws. Merry Christmas also to the Con- stitution! It was a fairly rough pas- sage, old lady, but you made a port; you made a port! To all the social workers, Merry Christmas, especially Miss Addams, ma’‘am, to you! Human society is a pretty tough lump of dough. Knead it, ladies and gentlemen, knead it! Get the Christmas yeast properly distrib- uted through that mass. At the bot- tom we are all with you. If you have a-candidate and we oppose him it is because we would not have you all impounded in any one fold. If you advocate a law, and we oppose it, it is because we do not think the law will really further what you have in view. But in most things that you want and try for, we are with you be- cause they are the things that accord with the Christmas message of good will to men. And Merry Christmas to the suf- fragists! Maybe they will all get the vote while we are here to see. Maybe not. But, anyhow, the scramble for it is instructive, and perpetually induces thoughts that must be fruitful. There are many of you nowadays, ladies, but you are not yet the only women in the land. If you find some Christmas morning the tyrant man in your stock- ing, it is to wonder what you will do with him. ¢Shall you hang him on the Christmas tree and leave him to go with it to the ash barrel? And to the Antis, Merry Christmas! Dear friends, it may be we are mile- posts on the road of progress. It may be we shall be whipped in our conten- tion. That looks quite possible. But while there is left in you the convic- tion that your side is right, stick to your cause! Votes are far from be- ing the whole story in this dispute. You generally profess and harbor ideals of human life and of the nature and distribution of its duties which are considerably to seek in the lively ranks of our opponents. If you have to vote, those ideals will more than ever de- pend on your support. It may seem a humble office to be the ballast of the ship of state, but there is a lot of sail spreading nowadays on her old poles, and ballast there must be or she'll go over. By no means, please you, scorn that office, nor even scorn the poor assurance that never in your doing of it will you lack the company of your brethren. And now, if the orchestra will play a proper tune, let us sing a few stanzas: (ZR Merry Christmss, Merry \ Christmas, f) To the whole gyrating ball! To Turk and Slav and Jew and Celt And Teuton, great and small! To all who dance the turkey trot, And all who dance the jig, And all who pipe for dancing, both The little and the big! Go whirl, go whirl, oh merry orb, While some teetotal spin, And others in their turns absorb Champagne, or even gin! There's a time for sober thinking, -There’s a time to throw a fit. A time to climb the heights of rhyme— My brothers, this is it! Pring on Thomas Fortune Ryan, Bring on Thomas Nelson Page, And Thomas Woodrow Wilson to The forefront of the stage! Play, play the Monticello reel, Ye bandsmen through your cheers, For here's to Old Virginny, ain’t She spry for all her years! Go whirl, go whirl, oh, merry sphere! Lo, portents in the sky! When everybody's turning queer, What use is it to cry? When everybody's turning good, What can we do but shout? What counts is how we feel within; Not what we do without. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, To the sinner and the saint! Do your Christmas shopping early! Mix some red in with your paint! Get greens and holly berries, And mistletoe the door; Send Christmas cards to all the rich, And turkeys to the poor! For the aged earth is spinning With a quite unusual spin, And excuse us, please, for grinning At the kind of times we're in. Lift the lid up just a trifle, Let the inner spirit call Merry Christmas! Merry Christma: Merry Christmas to us all! Edward S. Martin comicbookMe, |