Life, 1912-12-05 · page 28 of 116
Life — December 5, 1912 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising**, with one satirical article. The main satire is "A New Union," which mocks the early 1900s labor unionization movement by proposing a "union for babies." The joke imagines applying strict union rules to infant care—ten hours sleep guaranteed, no family doctor visits without union approval, protection from incompetent parents, scientific milk only, no relatives allowed. This ridicules how unions were imposing rigid restrictions on workers' lives, suggesting the labor movement had become absurdly controlling and bureaucratic. The humor lies in the absurdity of unionizing babies, treating infants as workers needing labor protection. It reflects contemporary anxieties about unions gaining too much power over daily life—a common conservative critique of early 20th-century labor organizing. The page includes luxury holiday advertisements (Maillard chocolates, Rad-Bridge apartments) and a brief children's joke ("John Goes Up Head") playing on double meanings of "income."
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
| HOLIDAY |GREETING THE PANAMA CANAL Or the West Indies, without sending for tho booklet of tho 21-day, limited cruises, Jan. 11 and Feb. 4, 1913, of the New Touring mship STEPHANO of the CHOCOLATES RED CROSS LINE, ing Colon, Panarin, Hamilton, Bermudas Port An- BON BONS tonio and Kingston, it FRENCH BONBONNIERES sineh ce 100.60. UP. Be the ‘No difficulties in obtaining car Ise jus es at ports of call, Send for handsome 7) den tube. DEATACU A New Union MPORTATIONS, of dainty, artistic This is the day of Unions. Every- and original Holiday novelties direct from Ags body is consolidating or amalgamating be Paris, made exclusively for Maillard — ready or coalescing. Why not. therefore.:a trava A union for babies in order to protect an for your inspection, Monday, December ninth. them in their right been Cc: Bonnets de Luxe for boudoir wear. abs At present no baby is permitted life, She liberty and the pursuit of happiness ing | without so many restrictions that it dowr positively amounts to cruelty. build Coffrets de Sévres in every description, ‘ All babies should, therefore, combine upon Vases of Daum and Sévres in newly applied designs for various uses. ¥ and insist upon the following rules: Dolls dressed in the latest Parisian fashion—exclusive variety. SORT At least ten hours sleep every night. No joggling. No visits by family physicians un- : less approved by the walking delegate Glove and Handkerchief boxes, rare and beautiful selection, in all pbs appointed by the union. shapes and colors, latest Parisian importations. All babies to be protected from their Opera bags and Hand bags unique in style and effect. Electric lamps and shades in Saxe decorated ware. Cushions and Sachet de Luxe for lingerie purposes. Satin lined baskets, large variety, in the latest shades and tints, Dinner and Ice Cream favors and Mottoes—original creations, parents, especially first babies, as all Toys, Favors and Ornaments for the Christmas tree. parents are incompetent, Real milk with all kinds of germs The Luncheon Restaurant—a delight A une eghtful place to in place of the scientific: make-shifts rest a while — Afternoon tea served three to six. j ere now sapping away our life blood. No familiarity from relatives or FIFTH AVENUE AT 35TH. STREET — ee NEW YORK ‘ ‘ Every baby is entitled to a. fair show. At present no baby is getting it, Brother and sister babies, let us get together, autifil cal- isan absolute ne- . na 7 John Goes Up Head ‘e issue the most beautiful ones; they go like ‘Then’ up spake the shade of St. Paul. Johnnie, . hot cakes; if you want any one Jn his well-known scholasle drawl, yor give us a sentence, using the word asked his teacher, “can , Ig human affairs Ue en of those whose covers are pictured J dont put on Oe . ‘income ' in it on page 2420, fill in the Coupon New “nasne PLATTER Johnnie hesitated a moment: then: and send the moncy. Remem- 1 FS we eas “Yes'um.” he replied. “\The boy ber that Life's Calendars are ; opened the doors, and in come a cat.” knownall over the world an and this year they are of excep- tional —Woman’s Home Companion MMMM FREE FROM ADULTERANTS AND ALLIMPURITIES. IT IS THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S WHISKEY PAR EX- CELLENCE. RIPE, MELLOW AND DELICIOUS BOU- QUET. OVER FIFTY YEARS OF POPULAR FAVOR Sold at all first-class cates and by jobbers. WM, LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md, BALTIMORE SuUIUUVIUUIUUIUNUUUOUUONUUNOUUOUNOUGROONOLOSEGUOOOEUOUCUARAOUOEOGRGUOAUALAOOGUOEUOEOA UA 2340 comicbookMeun so true that they are pract ieal. Unless you order at once you may not be able to obtain one. Waiting until the last mo- ment never put a fortune in any one’s pocket or helped any cat to catch a rat, so take time by the forelock and get your home and mind furnished in advance for the year of See page €420 1913. SsVANUUANUUANUNNUANUONOUAUADUNNONNUNNUEONUNNUNONNTE: SUUUNNNNQUAUUANUUUEEOOUUUUOOUUOOUQUOQUUAOUOUANUILLE