Life, 1912-12-05 · page 18 of 116
Life — December 5, 1912 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising with light satirical content**, typical of Life magazine's format. The main satirical pieces are: 1. **"In Boston Waters" cartoon**: A fish warns its children about a "Danger" sign near a roof hole, cautioning restraint—the ironic joke being the fish's own offspring end up in someone's drinking water anyway. It's gentle humor about parental advice's futility. 2. **"Simple Rhymes for Lovers of Animals"**: A series of darkly comic poems about pets meeting unfortunate ends—a cat dying in drinking water, a dog vanishing, a tortoise falling on a child's head, a parrot that won't stop screeching. The humor derives from the *contrast* between sentimental pet ownership and comedic domestic disasters. The remainder comprises period advertisements: Peck & Peck hosiery, Burrowes billiard tables, and a Gibson whiskey ad. The page reflects early-20th-century magazine conventions mixing light satire with commercial content, using animals as subjects for absurdist humor rather than social/political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IN BOSTON WATERS *onsEave, MY CHILDREN,” SAID Tir Plows FISH, “THE WARNING SIGN OF DANGER PLACED BY THE POWERS ABOVE IN JUXTAPOSITION TO THIS APERTURE IN OUR ROOF. — KESTRAIN YOURSELVES IN YOUR PROPER ELEMENT. DO Not PLAY UPON THE ROOF.” Simple Rhymes for Lovers of Animals I had a tabby-eat, and I Was swindled when T bought ‘er. At night, upon the roof, she'd ery Much longer than she ought'er; And when at last she chose to die, Twas in our drinking water. A Christmas Gift Men Really Want! Stand $2.50 Snr DOWN $3 Per Month ‘Table No. 71—Size, 3 x6 feet. Bany gider style and anes ices Q15 wp, om easy term, BURROWES Billiard and Pool Tables are practical tables adapted to the most expert play. They are strongly made, beautifully finished, with superb cabinet work. The style illustrated is simple in design, but very strong. with Mahogany finish and handsome stamped bronze corners. It is a Combination Table—for both Billiards and Pool. The following accessories are included without extra charge: 16 pool balls, 4 48-inch cues, 1 36-inch eve, 10 pins for Pin Pool, | triangle. 1 bridge, 1 pool bottle, 6 pocket stops, book of instractions, extra tips, cue chalk, sandpaper, ete. ‘The standis not essential, but often is a great convenience. With each Burrowes Table is furnished free a set of four hard- wood leveling blocks, for use ia mounting on dining-room or library table, Jog contains many other styles and sizes of tables, from $15 up. on terms of $1 of more down and a small amount each month. Write for catalog, or order directly from this advertisement. FREE TRIAL—NO RED TAPE stallment we will shi INDIVIDUAL, ORIGINAL, AND SMART SPECIAL FOR WOMEN FOR MEN The best $1.00 Silk 00 Stockings and’ Sox in 1: Black or Colors, to be ctl hadin New York. They vt ched Hae qua @ Set and higher priced stockings. have them all silk, or with cotton S eld $3.00 tops and soles, und cravat perfectly Matched, & Set Unusually finequality. HOSIERY Make Sensible Christmas Gifts 1.00 tre clowly woven ge. & Pair ing them the appearance of heavier You can buy our bonds for any amount and your friends can “make their owen selections. We have a very: large assortment of the finest Frenchand English stockings und sox, ag well as sets of scarfsand sox We had a dog, It did not know the name of fear; It was a dog, that, far or near, You never could forget; 'Twould killa chick; twould chase a cat, A mouse, a frog, a dying rat, Or any little thing like that; Ile was a perfect pet And when he disappeared one day. We couldn't guess, we Where he had gone; nor think What kept him from his well-loved ground ; perfectly matched. K I Embroidered silk stock- $2: 00 od let us send you el patterns, and designe, some and varied Tir xery dainty in appear: @ Pair Sarcor allnot want- 20¥ by express at our KINDLY SEND REFERENCE AND SIZES expense. Bran Ne Three Fifth Ave. Shops a st ™ 230at 27% St.48lat 412St.588at438"St. ee _ De Ci a little dear, Until the local plumber found Sa What stopped the kitchen sink. bo I had a tortoise; sad to say, e It has, for years, been dead: ‘AU It climbed upon the roof one da: Ak And, when its grip had given wa Bu It fell on Tommy's head. Be L bought a bird (it had no name)— To uildn’t say A kind of paroquet— 2 Is started screeching when it came; Ry For five long years it’s done the same: It has not finished yc At ———— = = Su Sa We oq Be Ri Th R == comicbooks.com