Life, 1912-12-05 · page 103 of 116
Life — December 5, 1912 — page 103: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct elements: **"Motorwocky"** (top left) is a parody of Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky," replacing Carroll's nonsense words with early automobile brand names (Buick, Pierce-Racine, Stearns, Maxwell, Hudson, Packard, etc.). The joke satirizes the bewildering proliferation of car manufacturers in the early 1900s—there were dozens of competing brands, making the automotive market chaotic and confusing to consumers. By treating car names as nonsensical gibberish, the author mocks the industry's complexity. **The divorce joke** (bottom left) is a brief anecdote where a woman seeks divorce and asks about costs; the lawyer responds "My charges? Goodness gracious! I thought I'd have to pay you"—implying women were expensive liabilities in marriage. **"20th Century Limited" advertisement** (right) promotes the New York Central Lines' famous passenger train, emphasizing its smooth "Water Level Route" enables comfortable sleep for business travelers. The page is primarily **advertising and light humor**, typical of Life magazine's mix of satirical content and commercial promotions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Motorwocky “Twas buick, and the pierce-racine Did stearns and simplex in the white. AN metallurgique was moline, And the winton prestolite Beware the commertruck, my son, The plugs that spark, the clutch that holds ; “e Peware the blitzen benz, and shun ma Delaunay belleville olds. ito in He took his maxwell sword in hand, Long time the flanders foc he sought, So rested he by the c.g. — And stood a while in thought ford thought he stood, The commertruck, with lamps of flame, Came hudson through the motor-hood, And packard as it came One A two, one two, and through and through His maxwell blade went cadillac, He left it de and with its head He croxton-heetoned back. And hast thou slain the commertruck? Come to my arms, my bergdoll boy ! Gh, stoddard-day—ton herliet ! He windshield in his joy. ‘Twas buick, and the picree-racine Did stearns and simplex in the white. ML metallurgique was moline, And the winton prestolite. —Flueten in Boston Traveler. A MaNpsome young woman entered an attorncy’s office approached him very unceremoniously. “LT want to get a divorcee from my “What “My charges? thought I'd have to pay you.” and are your charges Goodness Limited Lv. New York 2.45 p. m. Lv. Boston 12.30 p.m. Ar. Chicago 9.45 a.m. GIVE ANY MAN Krementz Bodkin - Clutch Studs and Vest Buttons with Cuff Links to match, ‘and he will surely be pleased. Absolutely indispensible for evening dress or stiff bosom shirts. The simplest, etrongest and easiest op dof studs made. They goin like a Needle and hold likean Anchor. No danger of marring the shirt front. “No one up—the people on this train certainly do sleep” —because they can sleep on the gradeless, com- fortable ‘‘ Water Level Route’’ of the New York Central Lines. That is why the 20th Century is the favorite train of business men who travel between the east and the west. For Over Ten Years— “The Most Famous Train in the World” Se Lv. Chicago 12.40 p.m. Ar. Boston 11.55 a.m. Ar. New York 9.40 a. m. Made ta all grades from Krementz Quality Rolled Gold finest. mother - of pe: platinum mounted a: Precious stones. Leading jewelers show them in mani ed-and beautiful styles that will fi All About Billington Sparks, the New Author Billington Sparks, the new author, whose latest book has created such a furore on three continents (or more), is married. He lives with his wife at odd times and is devoted to his family. Mr. Sparks always makes a practise of reading his manuscript after he has written it, “It takes time,” he “but it is the best art.” Collar Button sets from " $1.00 to $6.00 per set. KREMENTZ & CO., X.Ctrnt ‘the Wertde id with a sigh, 24s morning,” he said “T rise in the pleasantly, describing his method of work, “and after breakfast I repair to my study, where I do my daily stint of ten ch This keeps me busy until noon, when I play the zither for half hour and romp with my youngest. In the afternoon I motor in my motor car, using a reliable map for the purpose. Sometimes my wife ac- companies me—as often not. T sleep in a cool bed with my feet toward the North.” ters, an comicbooks.com