Life, 1912-11-28 · page 33 of 44
Life — November 28, 1912 — page 33: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct satirical pieces: **"A Triumph of Art"** mocks Dr. Alexis Carrel's celebrated 1912 experiment keeping a dog's internal organs alive after death. Life's satire highlights the omissions from published accounts: whose dog was used? How many dogs died in experiments? The joke imagines absurd future applications—removing one's insides nightly like false teeth. This critiques sensationalized scientific reporting and questions the ethics behind celebrated "breakthroughs." **"As Mark Twain Introduced Himself"** presents Twain's self-deprecating introduction speech, where he sarcastically praises himself before admitting he knows only two facts about himself: he's never been in state prison and can't recall the third point. This exemplifies Twain's characteristic humor—mock-formal language undercut by irreverence and absurdity. The page also contains period advertisements (National Sportsman magazine, Travelers Insurance) typical of Life's revenue model.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Triumph of Art Dr. Alexis Carrel of the Rockefeller Institute has recently cutting up a dog so that, although the outside of the animal was dead, the inside was kept alive for several hours. The details, as published in the pepers, were extensive and complete. Only one thing was omitted: Whose dog was it that Dr. Carrel cut up? Had he no friend: Also, how many other dogs did Dr. Carrel cut up © he achieved his masterpiece? counts state that succeeded in he was several months making his ex- periments, The value of the eminent surgeon's discovery lies in the fact that hereafter —when a few other unimportant de- tails have been attended to—we shall be able to remove our insides at night and hang them upon the bed-post while we get a few hours’ much needed rest As Mark Twain Introduced Himself “Ladies and Gentlemen: By the re- quest of the chairman of the committee { beg leave to introduce to you the reader of the evening, a gentleman whose great learning, whose historical accu- racy, whose devotion to science and whose veneration for the truth are only equaled by his high moral character and his majestic presence. I allude. vague and general terms—to mys am a little opposed to the custom of ceremoniously introducing a reader to the audience, because it seems unneces- sary where the man has been properly advertised! But, as it is the custom, I prefer to make it myself—in my own The wind may blow, the storm: A hurl itself with fury, but all: within the ha snug and safe: A Guaranteed Low Cost Policy of life insurance in- The TRAVELERS is a breakwater in that storm which so Often breaks with suddenness upon some happy family © when the father dies. Then a sea of trouble bears’ in upon it. But if that father has built, stone by stone,’ th breakwater of insurance, the worst cares and troubles dash against it in vain; the family is safe within. the harbor. * You like to HUNT and FISH, You like to go CAMPING,— When, surely you will enjoy the NATIONALSPORTSMAN magazine, with it's 160. richly Mlustrated pages, full to overttow- ing with Interesting stories and valuable Information about guna, fishing takle, camp outfts.—the best places to go for fish and fame, and a thousand and one “How to" ints, for The NATIONAL, Ss Sure ike big camp rein the woods where thousands of good fellows gather © sada apd spin stirring Think of round trips to the woods fora $1.00 vil Special Trial Offer Just to show you what It's like, ‘we will send you the NATION- AL SPORTSMAN magazine for three months and your choice of a handsome NATIONAL SPORTS MAN BROTHE Rirood hereshown on receipt of 25e. in stamps or cotn, "t delay — join our great big Hunting, Fish- tog, Camping, Nature- loving NATIONAL SPORTSMAN BRO- THERHOOD today, NATIONAL The Travelers ‘Insurance Company, Hartford, Conn. Please send particalars of your Guaranteed Low Cost Plicy. But there is this important difference: will not protect a harbor until all the stones are laid. ~ With insurance. the first’ payment protects your family as completely as the last. Begin to build the insurance breakwater now. Send the coupon for information’which tells you how to begin. case—and then I can rely on getting in all the facts!) T never had but one intro- duction that sceined to me just the thing, and the gentleman was not ac- qu inted with me, and there adies and gentlemen, T shall waste no time in this introdue- tion, T know of only two facts about this man: First, he never has been in state prison, and, second, I can't imag- ine why!'"—Kensas Ster. as no non- Tur canons of Chartres having lost a lawsuit which they had with their bish- rey op, and supposing that their bad suc- cess had been occasioned by the influ- ence of Madame Maintenon, one of them said, “How was it possible for us to win when we had King, Queen and Knave against us?” —From the Orient. “When she wasn't looking, I kissed her.” “What did she do?” “Refused to look at me for the rest of the evening.”—Wasp. comicbooks.com A breakwater # Life TEAR OFF My name, address and date of birth are written below