Life, 1912-11-28 · page 16 of 44
Life — November 28, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The main illustration shows children playing with a sign reading "NO TRESPASSING" while an adult sits nearby, captioning "I WISH THEY'D PLAY SOMETHING ELSE"—satirizing how children mimic adult anxieties about property and rules. **"Teddywocky"** is a parody of Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky," inserting early 1900s American political figures as nonsense words: Theodore Roosevelt ("Teddywock"), various senators and politicians ("Hijohnsoned," "Tafted," "Bookered"). The poem mocks Roosevelt's aggressive political style and the Senate's complex internal struggles, presenting political combat as absurdist fantasy. The satire suggests the political drama is theatrical and somewhat meaningless. **"The Zone System"** discusses parcel post pricing—a contemporary policy debate about whether mail should cost more for longer distances. The author argues the logic is flawed, since short hauls already offset long ones in the system, mirroring trolley-line economics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“T WISH THEY'D PLAY SOMETHING ELSE” don’t mind paying a slight advance over the advertised price.” “Oh, no. That's all right. Any- thing to keep from freezing to death.” “You are always so reasonable, Lire. Good-bye.” “We can return the compliment. So long.” E. 0. J. The Zone System I" we were to ask the advocates of the zone system for carrying par- cels, why they don’t go farther and advocate the zone system for trolleys, they would say that it wouldn't be practicable owing to the additional labor involved, the confusion and the annoyance. On trolley lines, they would add, the short hauls average up with and offset the long hauls. Such an answer would be quite rational. The same is true, how- ever, of the parcel post business. The short hauls offset the long hauls. Nobody is injured and the whole machinery of parcel distribution pro- ceeds without those creaks and jars which must occur in the zone system. Teddywocky “TWAS bulmoos, and the oscarstraus Did bourne and pinchot in the murk. Hijohnsoned was the senate house, And the bruce linn outperk. “Beware the Teddywock, my son; The teeth that clench, the jaw that sets ; Avoid the lindsaybird, and shun The hitchcocked suffragettes.” He took his marshall sword in hand, Long time the dixoned foe he sought; Then rested he by the woodrow tree, And tafted there in thought. And as in penrose thought he stood, The Teddywock, with eyes of flame, Jocannoned through the wiley wood, And bookered as he came. One, two! One, two! And all depew, His marshall blade went snicker- snack. He left the boss, and with his foss, He’ cadyherricked back. “And hast thou slain the Teddy wock ? Come to my arms, my g. o. p.. My cockran pet! O lafollette!” She jobhedged in her glee. ‘Twas bulmoos, and the oscarstraus Did bourne and pinchot in the murk. Hijohnsoned was the senate house, And the bruce linn outperk. —H. Hall. TYPOGRAPHICALLY SPEAKING COPPER TYPE AND WAYSIDE FIGURE comicbook $.co