Life — November 14, 1912 — page 40: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

California THIS Winter OU willfind the health and rest you need in California without the expense of a European trip. Even the climate of the Mediter- ranean cannot surpass this Land of Eternal Flowers. Avisit there will prove the holi- day of a lifetime. Why not plan the trip today? You are sure to enjoy it if you choose the Union Pacific Standard Road of the West Fast, direct and safe, with improved roadbed, double tracks, superior equipment, electric block signals, ‘excellent dining car service and every facility for your pleasure, ease and comfort. Write us today for illus trated booklet. We will help you plan your trip. Address Gerrit Fort, Passenger Traffic Manager Union Pacific Room 12 _. LIFE: Eastern Wisdom A certain ruler had a diviner whose words he wished to prove false. And it came to pass on a certain day that the sheep which he possessed strayed into the wilderness; and he told his di- viner to make divination concerning them; and he also commanded his ser vant, saying, “ Whilst Iam speaking with the diviner, do thou emit a croak like that of a raven on the roof.” Now when the diviner heard the croak he said, “In very truth highway robbers have stolen the sheep.” Thereupon the governor laughed and said, “Thou hast made a mistake, for it was not a raven which croaked, but my servant.” The diviner answered, “Now, therefore, if it was thy servant who croaked and not a raven, in very truth the shepherd is slain and the flocks are carried off.” And when they went to inquire they found that the matter was thus. —From the Orient. Pertinent An inebriated gentleman was going home one evening when he met a young man who was moving .to a new home. The young man was very frugal and had decided to move his own things rather than pay a mover, Ont trip he had a large hall clock on his back. It was heavy and he strug- gled until he heard the inebriated one , there, you!” Thinking the man was going to help him, he set down the clock and said: “Well, sir?” He was astonished to hear the other nmer hay, you, why don’t you buy a watch? "—Harper's. —orworse. Chills and colds are Practically eliminated by the use of Jaeger Pure Wool Underwear. Seven weights to choose from. Recommended by leading physicians everywhere. y application DrJaeger'sS.W.S.Co.’sOwnStores New York: 306 Fifth Ave., 22 Maiden Lane Brooklyn: S04 Boston: 324 Boylstoa St. Puna Bie Chetect St, Cheage 186 8 Sate St, Prestpext Tarr was out for his aft- ernoon walk in Washington one day when a flaxen-haired little girl ran out in front of him, held up her finger, and exclaimed in a shrill baby voice “TI know who you are!” The President, thinking it not at all unusual that she should possess this in- formation, but willing to gratify her, asked : Well, who am 1?” “Aw,” she said teasingly, “you're Humpty Dumpty."—Everybody’s. Omabes Neds [qaDdoODOOODOOOOIOOOOOOOOOOOIONDO0000IIOIIIO0DO0000 HAS STOOD THE TEST OF AGES AND IS STILL THE FINEST CORDIAL EXTANT More Fitting A young lady and her fiancé were wait- ing for a street car. After several cars had passsed that they were unable to get aboard the young man became impatient. He waved frantically at the next car as it hove in sight, then leaped upon the platform and said in a pleading voice: “Come on, Helen; we manage to squeeze in here, can’t we? She blushed faintly, but sweetly re- plied: “ I suppose we can, dear, but don’t you think we'd better wait until we get home? "—Ladies’ Home Journal. COSCOOSCOCS SOOOO 2092089 800000009000) At first-class Wine Merchants, Grocers, Hotels, Cafes. Batjer & Co., 45 Broadway, New York, N.Y. Sole Agents for United States. $POOOOOOOO comicbooks.com