Life — October 17, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

2000 “LIFE Life’s Examination Paper OU never can tell what a Lire competition is going to develop. We propounded the questions in Lire’s Examination Paper with the idea that we would secure for the advantage of the world a large amount of abstruse wisdom locked up in the brains of Lire’s What happe The early answers disclose an im- portant concrete political fact. If Lire’s readers are in any way a representative body, the answers to questions Numbers 2, 5 and 6 show that the Bull Moose candidate for President is regarded not seriously, but as a joke. Here are the questions: * readers. If Diogenes were searching America for an honest man, where would he be least likely to find him? What is the funniest thing in the world Give a good example of perpetual motion. “Oyster Bay” comes to us so frequently as an answer to the first that there is an evident general mistrust in the sincerity of one of Oyster Bay's leading citizens. To the next we get a predominance of such replies as “ Theodore Roosevelt,” “ T. R.’s belief that he is going to get a third term,” etc. To an impressive number of contestants per- petual motion is represented by “T. R.,” “ Teddy's : “Teddy's mouth.” One competitor goes so far as to be- lieve that the funniest thing in the world is the statement, “Under no circumstances will I be a candidate for or accept another nomination.” Answers to the other questions are more in the line of our original intention. For instance, to question one, “Should a suffragette marry?” we get a division: of equally sincere opinions that “she should, if she can get any one to have her,” and that “she shouldn't, if it means more suffragettes.’ There seems to be a very general belief that the name of Reno, Nev., should be changed to “ The Great Divide.” In defining “common sense,” there appears to be a prevailing impression among Lire’s readers that its “the thing you've got that the other fellow hasn't.” None of the questions provokes a wider difference of opinion than that concerning the expenditure of a million dollars to do the least good. Such bestowals as “to buy red flannel petticoats for Hottentot ladies” seem to be popular. The question as to the originator and use of the hobble “HE MADE A HOME RUN AND BROUGHT IN TWO MEN AHEAD or HIM” NOT THE DEPARTMENT STORE Woman's Voice: conNecT ME WITH THE WHITE GOODS DEPARTMENT, PLEASE. Broker: VM SORRY, MADAM, THAT'S A LITTLE OUT OF OUR LINE. BUT 1 CAN CONNECT YoU WITIL THE GREEN GOODS DEPARTMENT. skirt also brings forth a diversity of information, with a leaning toward the conviction that it was invented by “a jealous husband to prevent his wife's getting away from him.” The comparative desirability of a wife and an auto- mobile seems to rest on many considerations, but there is a pretty general conviction that if a man gets the auto- mobile first he won't have much trouble in securing the wife—if he wants one. These answers are given not as the best, but as showing the general trend of opinion. The announcement of the prize winners will be made as soon as the herculean task of comparing all the answers. can be concluded. Her Opinion A me husband got into another foight an’ kem home wit’ a black eye. ‘Tis too bad, so it is! Wan'd think a married man ‘d get enough ‘aith, it is. av it at hom comicbook $-COl