Life, 1912-10-03 · page 39 of 56
Life — October 3, 1912 — page 39: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page mixes literary satire with period advertising and social commentary. **"Thoughts on Reading Bartlett's Familiar Quotations"** is a humorous poem by F.P. Adams (attributed to *Metropolitan* magazine) that absurdly mashes together famous literary quotations, rendering them nonsensical. The joke targets pretentious familiarity with canonical literature—readers recognize fragments from poets like Coleridge and Byron but the mashup exposes how disconnected these quotes sound when combined. **"Actresses and Wives"** is satirical social commentary on a popular debate of the era: whether actresses made suitable wives. The piece argues the question is pointless—actresses who became good wives stopped acting, making the comparison meaningless (like asking if aviators make good miners "if they eschew aviating"). The satire targets both the debate's circularity and gender expectations about women's domestic vs. professional roles. The advertisements (Paris Garters, Simplex automobiles) are period product placements and are not satirical content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
4 Thoughts on Reading Bartlett's Familiar Quotations It was a friar of orders gray, By the nine gods he swore, “I chanced to see at break of day—" Said the farmer: “ Say no more.” Stay, lady, stay for mercy's sake, Men were deceivers ever. And could I ever keep awake And let who will be clever? If this fair rose offend thy sight, Vd lay me down and dee, She w Phantom of Delight— The boy—oh, where was he? In Xanadu did Kubla Khan Come peeping in at morn, ‘The apparel oft proclaims the man Breast high amid the corn. ) prithee send me back my heart, Half hidden from the cye "Tis of man's life a thing apart. Good-bye, my lover, good-bye! —F. P. Adams in“ Metropolitan.” Actresses and Wives There is a noticeable aversion to set- Mling the question as to whether actresses make good wives. Only recently have some of the newspapers had the question up again, but it is no nearer settlement than ever. The trouble is that there are two answers. One answer is yes. The other answer is no. If you like a wife who hangs around home a good part of the time and attends to those important little things which are called woman's work and which have the reputation of being never done, then actresses em- phatically do not make good w But PARIS GARTERS ~ Nometal ~ can touch you Good garters are the only kind you want. The surest way to get them and be certain of it, is to say plainly PARIS GARTERS to your dealer; it’s just as easy to have the best as the next best. Look for the name PARIS on each garter. Price 25 and 50 cents A. Stein & Co,, Makers, Chicago y PE Meadow Brook nt Club Fall Style 7 Passenger Landaulet IDE doors, commodious and luxurious interiors, and perfect riding qualities, will characterize the Simplex closed bodies for the coming season. The materials used in the upholstery of these models are made abroad and are designed exclusively for us. That air of distinction which has always placed Simplex Cars in a class by themselves is, in the new models, more than ever pronounced. SIMPLEX AUTOMOBILE COMPANY 240 WEST 59th STREET NEW YORK CITY if you like a wife who, under the best conditions, is out every night and doesn't get home till late, but who, when on tour, doesn’t get home for months at a time, by all means choose an actress. We have the confident testimony of many of the profession that actresses make excellent wives, but when we ex- amine into the specific instances, we find that about the time they became good wives they gave up acting. In other words, it is much the same as asking, Do aviators make good miners? Yes, if they eschew aviating. Do traveling 1919 salesmen make good doctors? Yes, but not at the same time, for when you want a doctor right quickly, you hate to be told that he is on his annual spring tour through the Middle West. Do news- paper editors make good arctic x- plorers? Do college professors make good cabaret dancers? Thus, after the most painstaking and erudite examination, we find that the question is futile, It would be much better to ask, Do wives make good actresses? That, at least, offers a chance for an argument. comicbooks.com