Life, 1912-09-05 · page 34 of 44
Life — September 5, 1912 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising** interspersed with **brief satirical anecdotes** about modern life—typical of *Life* magazine's format. The humor pieces mock contemporary social anxieties: 1. **"Modern Morals"** satirizes older generations' complaints about declining morality. A millionaire criticizes "new morality" as too permissive, illustrated by a Sunday school joke where a boy concludes that one must sin before sins can be forgiven—turning the moral lesson absurd. 2. **"Poet's Bad Luck"** is a joke about an untalented poet: a highway robber reads three lines and *refuses* the poem, declaring the poet needs money more than he does—implying the poetry is worthless. 3. **"Leading Question"** gently mocks courtship propriety: a woman invites a man to state his deepest wish, but he remains too bashful to express romantic desire directly. The bulk of the page features period advertisements (soap, furniture casters, travel services) typical of early 20th-century magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Modern Morals “This latter-day or new morality is too lax for me : The speaker was Jerome S$. MeWade, the Duluth millionaire. He continued “This new morality, which scems in its tolerance rather to encourage than to oppose wickedness, reminds me of a lad in my Sunday-school class. “*'Now, Tommy,’ I s Sunday, ‘now, Tommy, what before our sins can be forgiven?’ “*We must sin,’ Tommy replicd.” York Tribune. “Hap a queer experience recently,” said the Billville poet.“ Robber held me up on the highway. Didn't have a cent in my pockets—only a pocm which I was takin’ to the editor.” “Didn't take the poem, did he?” “No. Read three lines of it, handed it back to me and ‘Friend, here's Save Your Beautiful Hard- wood Floors and Costly Rugs Casters with hard wheels of iron, leather, or fibre damage and ruin your floors. “FELTOID” Made of Indestructible Material— Are Noiseless— Casters and Tips will not scratch, mar, or stain the most delicate floor coverings or the finest polished floors. Furn‘ture and Hardware Dealers will supply you. Asktohave"FELTOID Casters of Tips pi tonallthenew furnitures oupurcha e, and ecethrt FELT OID" is stamped n every wheel and tip, Send postal any- way for booklet No, & The Barns & Bassick Co. Sole Manufacturers Dept.F. Cridgeport, Conn, $2. You need it worse than I do.” —Atlanta Constitution. Neat. departures for the rand Tour de Luxe Around the | World, gist Annual. Series. | Westbound from San Francisco | WORLD . 27; eastbound from New | York Nov. 2.26, Jan 4; south- bound, including South Africa, New Zealand, Tas- mania, Australia, etc., from New York Oct. 30. Send for illustrated Program & THOS. COOK & SON, 245 Broadway, 764 Sth Ave., New York. Cook's Travellers’ Cheques Cood Everywhere AROUND THE Leading Question Sin:: If you could have only one wish, what would it be? He: It would be that—that—oh, if I only dared to tell you what it would be. Sux: Well, go on. Why do you sup- pose T brought up the wishing subject? —Boston Transcript. First Matxox: I don’t sce how any- body can afford any luxuries nowadays. We've given up meat at our house Szconp Matwoyx: And we've given up bridge.—Cleveland Plain Dealer. ina Pinch, use ALLENS FOOT-EA! A Sense of Delight is experienced by particular people if, when preparing for a bath, a cake of *4711” White Rose Glycerine Soap is handy for use. The pleasure of the bath is made manifold and the entire body is refreshed and exhilarated. Glycerine, conta‘ned in “4711” Soap in goodly quantities, is a natural food for the skin. It opens the pores, dis- lodges secretions, and leaves it clear and soft. Ask for “Forty-seven-eleven” — Avoid substitutes. Sold Everywhere. Ferd. Milhens, No. 4711 Glockengasse, Cologne o/R, Ger. U.S. Branch — Milhens & Kropf, New York. House Founded 1792. w A Happy Marriage Depends largely on a knowl: elge of the whole truth About selt and sex and their felat‘on to life aod health. This knowlelge does not come intellizently of Ite nor correctly from ordinary, every-day sources. SEXOLOGY Clnstratea) 4L.D., imparts in a clear, Knontedze a Yoong V toage ie v Allin one volume, filustr ed, $2, postpaid. Wexe tor “Other Feu} (eof Conte “OUR OFFICIAL DOG-CATCHER ™ spoonful of Abbott's Bitters with your Grape Fruit in ideal appetizing tonic, Sample of bitters by mab, instamps. ©. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. comicbook $-com