Life, 1912-08-29 · page 13 of 42
Life — August 29, 1912 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct cartoons and accompanying text discussing early 1900s social topics. **Top cartoon**: Shows a doctor addressing a wealthy patient about surgical procedures (tonsils, adenoids, appendix removal), satirizing aggressive medical interventions of the era. **Bottom cartoon**: Depicts a woman labeled "Whiffing Fox" with a man, likely mocking sports or gambling culture. The caption references "the elephant bat for the snail and the greyhound" — appears to be absurdist wordplay about game animals or betting. **Text sections**: Include discussion of the Titanic disaster, monument proposals for Ismay (the ship's owner/captain), and debates about British honor. There's also "The Educational Step Ladder" — satirizing how education supposedly prepares children for specific life roles. The overall tone critiques both medical overtreatment and contemporary social pretensions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“we have to be conservative; now Letween you and me, our friend Ismay is something of a quitter; ‘ladies first,’ doesn’t go with him, you know. He really ought to be consulting with Davy Jones just at present, but, ahem! well, the White Star——” I cried. “ Not another word. You know, don’t you, that Ismay is a hero?” “Yes, naturally, of course.” “Well, then, subscribe to this.” I flashed a subscription paper on him, and he signed it with trembling fingers. The rest was easy. We are going to erect a monument to Ismay in Trafalgar Square, to com- memorate his being quicker than the women and getting off the Titanic alive, and not permitting himself to be annoyed afterward. Subscriptions are now pouring in, Everybody is de- lighted. The Times this morning, say: Mr. Ismay, ever since he was criticised by many crude Americans, has had our sincere sympathy; we rather felt that Lord Mersey’s words about him in the Titanic report were too cold and formal ; but in‘our esti- E COME PRETTY NEAR BEIN BEFORE THIS SUMMER?” BURIED ALIVE THAT TIME.” mate of this hero we must be con- servative. It is, however, a matter for profound satisfaction to know that Mr. Ismay will have an appro- priate monument erected to him, and that his place in Westminste Abbey is finally assured; when wi think that, under different circum- stances, he might have been at the bottom ‘of the Atlantic, we can only rejoice to think that British honor and heroism have been vindicated. I have been working with a com- mittee all day on an appropriate in- scription to go on the monument. Many suggestions have been made; among others, the following : “After me, ladies!” “T am Ismay! Personally, I rather incline to the latter. It has the merit of being sim- ple, and supremely comprehensible. For as long as there are steamships on the ocean, and honor and decency and chivalry are recognized through- out the word, the bare statement, “I am Ismay,” will always be understood by the most primitive souls. Both George and Mary agree with me. J. Bouxver Battincroro. 1671 The Educational Step Ladder WE know what kindergarten is for: it is to educate children for the primary grade: We know what the primary grades are for: they are to educate children for the grammar grades. We know what the grammar grades are for: they are to educate children for high school. We know what high school is for: it is to educate children for college. But what does college fit you for? Preliminaries ECOVERED PATIENT: Please tell me just what was done at the hospital, doctor. Famous Surces Well, we anas- thetized you, removed your tons adenoids and appendix, attached two floating kidneys and then" Recoverep Patient: Good Heavens! Then! Then what? Famous Surcton: Then we started to operate. “WHAT CAUSED THE SUDDEN TURN IN THE GAME?” “WELL, WE LET THE ELEPHANT BAT FOR THE SNAIL AND THE GREYHOUND RUN FOR THE ELEPHANT. THAT'S HOW We won.” comicbooks.com