Life, 1912-08-15 · page 16 of 40
Life — August 15, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This 1596-numbered page contains two distinct pieces. **"The Unknown"** is a sentimental poem about the fleeting nature of youth, illustrated with panels depicting life stages ("The Start," "First Lap," "Second Lap," "Home Stretch," "Finish")—presented "From a Woman's Point of View," suggesting a meditation on female life's trajectory. **"An Impossible Occurrence"** is a satirical court sketch mocking wealthy businessmen who seek government favors. A well-dressed man with expensive accoutrements (diamond stud, fine coat) is arrested for "vagrancy"—specifically for begging aldermen for valuable franchises and lobbying Congress for protective tariffs and forest lands. The joke's impossibility: a rich man being arrested for what amounts to corporate lobbying, treating such influence-peddling as socially contemptible "begging." The judge sentences him to the workhouse, satirizing how actual wealthy wheeler-dealers escape punishment while minor offenders face jail. This critiques Gilded Age corruption and corporate influence.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
1596 The Unknown HIS was the Spirit of Youth, tho’ she stood like Age, her eyes Dim with the tears unshed. This was the Spirit of Youth. ‘This was the Spirit of Youth, tho’ she stood like Woe and spoke Of love and pain as one. This was the Spirit of Youth. This was the Spirit of Youth that came like white mist and passed Like wind across the sea. This was the Spirit of Youth that I did not recognize ‘Till it was: gone from me! An Impossible Occurrence “NEXT cases” called the judge. The bailiff, without ceremony, dragged forth a well-dressed individ- ual and motioned him to the prisoner's seat. He had on a black broadcloth frock coat, a diamond stud in_ his cravat, and his face was ornamented with venerable side whiskers. “What's he charged with?” de- manded the judge. “Vagrancy, your honor,” said the policeman who had made the arrest. “Vagrancy,” repeated the judge, looking doubtfully at the prisoner. “Yes, your honor. I caught him down at the council chamber begging the aldermen for a valuable franchise.” “Um,” mused the judge. pretty serious case, but he is an old man. Have you taken his thumb- prints?” “Yes, your honor, and I find it is not his first offense. He was arrested twice for beggary in Washington; once, three years ago, when he was begging for a higher protective tar- iff, and another time, five years ago. when he was trying to get Congress him valuable Western forest “Well, in that case,” said the judge, “he comes pretty near being in the habitual class. I should like to be lenient on account of his age, but so- ciety must be protected against such people. I'll send him to the work- house for six months.” THE HOME STRETCH THE HUMAN RACE THE FINISH E. 0. J. FROM A WOMAN'S POINT OF VIEW comicbooheen