Life, 1912-08-01 · page 30 of 40
Life — August 1, 1912 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **three unrelated satirical pieces and an advertisement**, typical of Life's format. The main **"For Socialists"** poem mocks socialist ideology by suggesting that working-class people who claim socialist motivations are actually driven by selfish desires—wanting more money, less work, more property and luxuries. The satirist (R. H. Titherington) argues this exposes socialism's fundamental contradiction: you cannot redistribute wealth or reduce labor if everyone simply wants more for themselves. It's a critique suggesting socialism ignores human nature's inherent selfishness. The three brief **humor items** are standard joke fare: "Overpowering" plays on dialect humor; "A Typographical End" is a pun about a doctor's misprint causing death; the marriage license clerk joke is about a woman's press agent managing her public image. The **"Bachelor Reflections"** illustration (center) depicts domestic scenes with no clear satirical message visible. Below is a straightforward **"Onyx" hosiery advertisement** offering silk stockings for various activities. The page is primarily **advertising and light humor**, not serious political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Be NEAT O EAA For Socialists 3 7: . 5 a5.A Vv ie “You are a Socialist—and why?” 2 Nee sec ee asked John Jones one day. \SS> L MT Sea5$eRs, AVE, Ny ; “TM tell you frankly, friend,” he sai’; “T want to get more pay. T asked Sam Smith the self-same thing: his motive he confessed— “T have to work too hard,” he said; “I want to get more rest.” Overpowering “Ts you gwine ter let dat mewel do as he please?" asked Uncle Ephraim’s wife. “Wha's you’ will power?” “My will power’s all right.” he an- swered. “You jest want ter come out hyar an’ measure dis here mewel’s won't —Christian Register. And thus it is, I've always found, with each and every one: They want to get more property; they want to get more fun; A Typographical End i —# They want to get more luxuries, morc : pleasures, and more ease, With ‘no more toil than plucking fruit from off convenient trees. Dr. Marcus Herz, of Berlin, once sai to a patient who read medical books dili gently in order to prescribe for himself: “Be careful, my friend, Some day you'll die of a misprin To bring the golden age, is this the right —Youth's Companion, E : f way to begin? ‘ pr a You cannot draw more water from a “Have you ever been married be- = i tank than you pour in; fore? sired the leense(cler — s = — |) % juny social system, men mast work Great <begvens, syoung)[man! “ex: if they would live; claimed [they experiences prima (deans, —_ 3 t ; You who would get and get and get. “Don't you read the papers? 1 Sea f ha “det aiid: Bet Whereupon she wired immediately in- . 4 J pray tell, what would you give? structions to discharge her press agent. - - —R. H. Titherington in New York —Washington Star. Times. Jane. London, 7 Ave. de Opera. also at Saaroach's News" Fxchanzey, 21 Heide Lane z Roe da Faubourg. St. Denis, Parisy 1, Via Gustavo Modena, Milan; Mayence. Ge The tert and Uinsrarions jn LAVE are coryighiod. For Reprint Rights tm Great Bettain arr w Lave, 116 Southampton Rete, Lenaen, WC. Promrt masiscasion sivnld be unt be mbyribers fans chance of addr A nice new pair of “ONYX” SILK HOSE to round out your wardrobe, matching cos tumes-for golf, tennis, dancing, bathing, mo- toring or sailing, will help greatly toward Full Enjoyment of these and kindred Pleas- ures. No. 215 No, 251 Mo"erony"PorrThread | Woo ments | An “ONYX ste Heel an , Tor, to Black aed the fol “ONYX” Pure | Thread Silk in Black ai Lowing colors: Tan, Whit ‘Thread Silk with | at! colors. Twenty i inches long. Extra Lie Sole and | ‘snd Elastic at 1 eae Bee pure silk sock | LisleGarter Top | White the made at the price. —Dlack and all | Sug SOLE of SILK 6c: per. palr colors—A won- | LISLE give extra No. 515 derful value,the | strength at the points of Men's “ONYX Pure | utmost obtain- | wear, preventing Thread Silk; medium | able at from cutting and toes {rom weight; Lisle Sole; Blacl ing through. and all colors. solng through $1.00 $1.00 $1.50 Sold at all trading shovs, If ~our dealer cannot supply vou we will direct you to the nearest one, or send any number desired. Write to Devt. 19. Wholesale Lord ES Taylor *= New York MAKING UP TIME comicboolt ut m