Life, 1912-08-01 · page 14 of 40
Life — August 1, 1912 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The main cartoon shows a figure on horseback labeled "PRESIDENTIAL COURSE" jumping over an obstacle marked "IMPOSSIBLE," with spectators cheering in the background. This satirizes the challenges facing a presidential candidate—the cartoon suggests that winning the presidency requires navigating seemingly insurmountable obstacles. The page also contains a poem titled "Denatured Newport" criticizing high society in Newport, Rhode Island, mocking the wealthy for their pretentious behavior and suggesting their lives lack authentic meaning. Below is a short story titled "Business is Business" about a young man's romantic encounter at a summer resort, illustrating period attitudes toward courtship and social propriety among the well-to-do. The overall page reflects Life's satirical commentary on American politics, wealth, and social conventions of its era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
1514 Denatured Newport EWPORT, no animosity Shall touch my pen with fire, Though some with brute ferocity , Have slandered. you -for hire. No galling word I'll raise, withal, To rouse your dukes or flunkies. Your dinners I will praise, withal, And never mention m———! Though yellow journals rail at you And damn you as exclusive, Why should I wield the flail at you "Midst epigrams abusive? Lest gossip’s tooth embarrass you Like some root-gnawing gopher, I won't bring up your heiress who Preferred to wed a ch Your folks lead lives bucolical, Each in his humble cottage, Where Esau (term symbolical) Dines on his mess of pottage. They drink?—Oh well, perhaps a bit To brace them for life’s scramble. They “bridge”? No doubt they play a bit, But I’m sure they never g- In fact the pen of libel writes Too oft in mean aspersion. Let Newport have her tribal rights And innocent diversion. Let threadbare nobles tarry there Like drones among the honey. 1 don’t know why they marry there, But I'm sure it's not for m Wallace Irwin. A RECENT NOVEL The Dangerous Age PRESIDENTIAL bs o7 home ET BEAUTIFUL : Business is Business HE brisk young man who had ar- rived at the summer resort an hour before rapidly approached the most handsome girl in the place and, taking off his hat politely, said: “TL beg your pardon, miss, but may I sit down for a moment?” “ Certainly.” “Iam told, and my observation bears me out, that you are by far the handsomest creature within fifty miles. It is my intention to stay at this hotel for a couple of weeks, and. we shall undoubtedly become warm friends. This little interview, you will under- stand, is merely preliminary to our formal introduction later.” “ Certainly.” “In order that there may be no mis- understanding I may say that I am a young man of splendid family, good habits, and can give you every guar- anty in that respect. My object in having this interview—merely pre- liminary, you understand—is that we can have a nice quiet little flirtation without any fatal results.” “T think I follow you. The young man’s face took on a more earnest expression. “You see,” he went on, “I am of a very ardent nature, and in the pres- ence of such a beautiful girl as you are I shall undoubtedly use expres- sions which, if taken literally, might possibly commit me. I hope you will take any impassioned utterances on my part—well, not take them too seri- ously.” “T assure you that nothing you can say will compromise you.” “Thank you very much. Then it is all arranged. We are formally intro- duced in about an hour by the pro- prietor of the hotel. We immediately enter into all rapturous phases of a delightful flirtation, accompanied by usual business, and at the end of two weeks we part with a pleasant remi- niscent feeling of having had the time comicbook