Life — July 4, 1912 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1356 -LIFE- A Corner in Religions Amalgamated Religion Generator Company Has a Large Stock on Hand—Revelations and Idols Supplied at Various Prices E have been in receipt of so many orders for brand new religions that we must ask our customers to have a little patience until we can catch up. We are work- ing night and day as it is, and, being shorthanded, have been obliged to keep a great many people waiting. This country has responded to our call more nobly than we had ever dreamed of, and it is a matter of pride that we have been able to satisfy, so far, every demand. Our agents have been scouring the world for revelations and idols, of which we already have a large stock on hand. If you wish to start a new religion in your home town drop in at our headquarters and look over some of our stock. We can furnish almost any kind of an idol at a “For those who have the courage to admit that moncy is slight advance over original cost, delivered f.o.b. anywhere their god, we have a large collection of wonderful gold idols” in the United States. (Send for booklet) In placing your orders with us it is better to have all idols insured in advance, as we do not guarantee safe de- they are far enough apart not to interfere with cach other. livery, although we take due care in packing. The other This, however, does not detract from the value of the day a Burmese idol that we shipped out to California for revelation; the fact that it is being used elsewhere only one of our new religions, just started there, was badly dam- shows its worth. We can supply you with any kind of a aged in a railroad wreck, and the local plumbers worked revelation, with or without visions. on it for four days.before they could put it together. We We aim to meet every grade of society, from the ordi- are now suing our friends out there for the full amount nary Nudeite up to the tired business man. Our Nudcite of the bill—also the railroad company. religions come in a number of varieties. They are useful We have just opened up a new Revelation Department, only in warm climates or in the summer time, and inas- | and hereafter expect to have our revelations copyrighted. much as the adherents wear but few clothes, they are com- We wish to have it distinctly understood that no revela- paratively inexpensive. tions will be syndicated in the way that some newspaper The Jump-Around-Boo-Hoos are a trifle more complex articles are. At the same time we shall feel at liberty to than the Nudeites. They have a well established ritual— dispose of the same revelation in different territories when which can be varied to suit particular localities—and a leader. We will supply any kind of a leader desired, within limits. We have sev- eral A-1 Boo-Hoo leaders, each one of them with a beard at least three feet long and a Simon-pure, venerable aspect that would strike terror into the hearts 7 of any school boy. In plac- | ing your order for a leader it is very much better to come in and look them over personally. Please state be- forehand whether you de- sire to have an inspired leader or merely one with a long beard and good busi- ness ability. | 4s mo th SHERIFF We start an End-of-the- ao SSS KO a Mite C ce. way " write REE Ver Yours World movement almost “A happy colony of Nudcites” (Concluded on page 1364) comicboolnedt