Life, 1912-06-27 · page 30 of 45
Life — June 27, 1912 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page mixes satirical commentary with advertisements typical of early 20th-century Life magazine. The main humor pieces include: **"A True Optimist"**: A anecdote about composer Horatio Parker comparing his musical optimism to a man named Flyte, who bought a raffle ticket for an airplane and immediately hired a carpenter to build a hangar—absurdly assuming he'd win. The joke satirizes excessive optimism. **"Attending to Business"**: A brief joke about a missionary confronted by a cannibal claiming to be a "food inspector"—dark humor playing on stereotypical colonial-era depictions. **"A Good Loser"**: An anecdote attributed to late Senator Daniel of Virginia about an old Black taxi driver so popular during storms that he couldn't fulfill all requests. It illustrates finding silver linings in difficult circumstances. The page is otherwise dominated by period advertisements for automobiles, tires, and motorboats, representing consumer goods marketed to Life's affluent readership.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A True Optimist Prof. Horatio Parker, the composer of the beautiful opera of “ Mona,” which won the Metropolitan Opera's $10,000 prize, said at Sherry's, at a recent din- ner in his honor: “I am optimistic as to the future of American music—as optimistic almost as Flyte. “ Flyte, you know, bought a ticket ina raffle for an aeroplane. The raffle wasn't to come off for a month, but the very next day a. carpenter was scen wending his with a bag of tools toward Flyte’s hous “*What job do you want done, sir?’ the carpenter asked on his arrival. “*T want you,’ Flyte replied, ‘to build me a nice hangar in the back yard." York Tribune. Attending to Business Missionary: “Why do you look at me so intently Cannipat.: “Tam the food inspector.” Buffalo Commercial Caront Bitters. The best by test. 3 sample bottle with patent dasher, and be convinced. Oct. C, Blache & Co., 78 Broad w York, ( TIRENEW “Makes tires look new and last longer”’ 1 Distrs, IRENEW is a scientific preservative of automobile tires—a liquid unvulcanized rubber compound made of pure para gum. Protects Tires from Water, Oil and Light Tires, in service, quickly become a massof cuts through which moisture enters. causing the inner fabric to rot Tirenew will flow into the ‘oof the exposed fabric, prevent deca. fe of the tires. Tirenew ole car a well-groomed also give the x Insist upon getting Tir new. Avoid imitations that ‘contain injurious ingre- dients. Tirenew has received thee ‘sement of mobile tire manufacturers. Made in two shades — Tire Gi it your dealercanzot supply you with Tirenew — send 31.00 and his name and we will send you a trial can of Tirenew (enoughfor 12 tires) prepaid or through your dea an orders $1.25 “Tire Care,” sent FREE to motorists upon appll- cation. Dealers can buy Tirenew {.0.b, any large jobbing cencer. Manufactured only by NATIONAL Ky RUBBER CO. 4406 Papin St. ST. LOUIS, U.S. A. Send 25 cents for | day go | beau! tne BME loo Express Do You Want to Enjoy a Motor Boat this Summer? Elco boats merit investigation. Characterized by grace, elegance, comfort. Tweny years’ experience enables us to guarantee absolute satisfaction, Youll always be . W proud of your REUABILITY PERFECTION ULTIMATE ECONOMY 36-ft. Elco Raised Deck Cruiser. ELCO speeds GUARANTEED, ox sale can be cancelled. Eleo Express Launches Ife. A-cyl. Engine. Guaranteed Speed 20 miles. 16-ft. 35-ft. G-cyl. Engine. Guaranteed Speed 24 miles, 20-ft. Ready for Immediate Delivery Try-outs by appointment, Elco-Planes of the “Bue” Type (Patent appiied for) 4cyl. Engine. Guaranteed Speed 30 miles, GO Engne, Guaranteed Speed 35 mae him S4-ft. Elo de Luxe Cruiser. vary. hitch ELCO boats and engines GUARANTEED for one year, Write for New Catalogue Address ELC! 175 Avenue A, Bayne, 27 mioutes from Liberty and 23d Sweet Ferries, C. R. Automobile Route, 6 miles, West 42nd Suet Ferry sha fhadicn County Boulevard, of N. J. to W. Sth Street A Gocd Loser The late Senator Daniel of Virginia, who was being rallied at dinner on his sanguine outlook upon the political fu- ture of the Democratic party, said he was reminded of the cheerful philosophy of an old darky who drove the solitary hack in a small town on the Virginia shore, where he had spent the season. In good weather, the Senator, who was lame, was its only patron, but in storms the old vehicle was so popular that he had narrowly missed several engage ments, owing to the old man’s tal more orders than one antiquated chariot could possibly fill One stormy night the Senator said: “Now, Jordan, be here to-morrow morn- ing in time to take me to the ten o'clock boat, without fail. I have an importan: en, ment in Washington.” Jordan drove away, promising to show up in good season; but next morning a quarter to ten came—and no Jordan five minutes to ten, he drove up and the Scnator climbed in and started on a mad race to the wharf, ar- riving there just in time to see the boat pulling out. Now, Jordan!" cried the exasper- ated Daniel, “1 said we'd miss 1! “Yes, suh, dat’s so; but "—with sud- den inspiration—" she ain't been long gone!” —Everybody’s Ready to Oblige ta reception in London a young mistaking Marconi for Mascagni. I do wish you'd play me your lovely ‘ Intermezzo.’ “With pleasure, madam,” answered Marconi; “but I shall have to play it on a wireless piano.”"—Boston Transcript. The piquancy of a Sherbet is attained by using a dash of Abbott's Bitters, Sample of bitters by mail 25 ets. in stam s. . W. Abbott & Co., Ba'timore, Md, bu Just a Precaution “Why are you starting out with on umbrella on-such a sunshiny day?” “Tam bound for the art gallery.” “But you cannot exhibit an um- brellat”" “Of course, not. But a notice on the catalogue says that one must leave his cane or umbrella outside before he can enmter."—Toronto World. Pouitics this year is something like having the score tied in the ninth in- —Toledo Blade. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER 50 cents per case of G glass stoppered bottles TTH the “tang” and flavor of real ginger from Jamaica, Sheboy- 6 ganGinger Alecombines — elements of health native only tothedelightful, sparkling mine eral water forming its base. Servedinall leadingHotels, FAY. Clubs, Cafes, ete. Sold by | iz all Grocers and Dr catering to QUALITY. Be sure and ask for Sheboygan, “The Chief of Them All’ Sheboygan Mineral WaterCo. Sheboygan, Wisconsin = (8) comicbooks.com