Life — June 20, 1912 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1266 Intimate Interviews bs A, ha! At last we meet.” Woods Hutchinson, the celebrated tight rope per- former on the alimentary canal, grabbed Woods Hutchin- son by the shoulder. “Yes, we meet,” replied the other, doggedly.“ And what have you to say for yourself? I should like to ask you what you mean by traveling around the country lecturing to people about how to take care of themselves, when you ought to be practising your profession?” “But I am practising my profession. What's the dif- ference between operating on people privately and talking to them publicly? “ There’s an immense difference ; consider the mortality, for example.” “What do you mean?” Don't you think that I can kill just as many people by talking to them as I can by treating them?” “But, my dear fellow, you are not killing them; you are telling them things that they really ought to know.’ Well, what’s the matter with you, then?” “Nothing, except that——” Ah, now I see. I can read your mind like a book on physiology. You think it might be more respectable to be a doctor in good standing. But, my dear fellow, what's the difference? Why should I not be respectable in tell- ing the people the truth about themselves?” “For two reasons: first, because no respectable doctor believes in doing that, and, second, becaus: if you can get enough people to believe you, there would no longer be any practises left.” “Then that must explain why the doctors don’t like us.” “Certainly—and why the public does.” “GPE The Parable of the Keg “I BEG your pardon, but you are sitting on a keg of gunpowder,” said the Radical to the Conservative. “ How dare you, sir? Can't you see that I am a leading citizen and a power in the community?” retorted the Conservative, hotly. “I do not question that,” replied the Radical. “You may be a power, but there are other powers, The fact is that you are sitting on a keg of gunpowder. “I know who you are, all right, all right,” continued the Conservative. “You are one of those long-haired, impractical individuals who meddle with other people’s business.” “T will admit that my hair is a little too long and I have never been accused of being practical,” agreed the Radical, “ but the fact remains that you are sitting——” “Don't say that again. You are one of those pessi- mistic creatures who see no good in anything.” “That may be, sir, but that isn’t the point. The ques- tion is, Are you or are you not sitting on a keg of gun- powder?” The Conservative took a match from his pocket, struck it on the side of the keg and lighted his cigar. “Now you see,” said the Conservative, “nothing has happened, and all your dire prophecies have been dis- proved. I am in no danger. What if I am sitting on a keg of powder? I am a power in the community and nothing can happen to me.” “T will not discuss that,” said the Radical. “That is a matter you will have to settle with the powder if the argument should happen to come up. I meant no offense, but was merely calling your attention to the fact that you were in danger.” “Sir, your persistent impertinence is insufferable. But I see your game. You are an enemy of society and you have sinister designs upon our institutions, But I am glad I found you out in time. You have shown your hand and, if anything happens to me, I shall hold you responsible.” “T appreciate your kindness,” observed the Radical, as he turned to go, “but I fear that if anything happens to you, you will be in no mood to worry about where the responsibility lies.” Ellis O. Jones. I HAVE A PREMONITION SOMETHING 1S GOING TO HAPPEN!” “STOP IT, BILL, comicbooks.com