Life — June 20, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1256 Sensational War Scare United States in Peril— Foreign Foes Ready to Attack—Army and Navy Must Be Increased (Special to Live) \SHINGTON, June 18—News of the greatest im- portance leaked out here to-day. Your correspond- ent was standing in the hallway of the State Department when a clerk—either carelessly or designedly—dropped an armful of cipher dispatches which reveal a terrible condi- tion of affairs. These dispatches may be summed up as follows : The Turks and the Italians have just held a secret conference at St. Petersburg and have ay reed to join forces for the purpose of taking possession of the United Their combined fleets are now lurking in the Caribbean Sea, ready to dash out and fire on Palm Beach. At the same moment a fleet of Germans will land a large squad of marines at Back Bay Station, whence they will embark, via the New York, New Haven & Hartford Railroad, to New Rochelle. From there they will pro- ceed on foot to the Waldorf, which they will occupy as headquarters until the weather will allow them to be com- fortable at Manhattan Beach. While the Germans and the Turks and the Italians are thus occupying the eastern coast, the Japanese, under Gen- eral Oom Ya Ya, will mobilize an army, scale the Golden Gate and march upon Muscatine, Iowa. This will be the signal for the Canadians to begin a concerted attack along the northern frontier. Your correspondent was naturally worried about these warlike activities and immediately sought out Senator Mauser, who is the princi hington representative of the Blowemup Powder & Gun Company. enator Mauser said he had known for a long time that war was imminent and for that reason alone he had been working for a double appropriation for the purchase of guns and ammunition. Senator Roller, who represents the Steel Trust, was also seen, He agreed with Senator Mauser that the situa- tion was critical and declared that seven or cight new Dreadnaughts should be provided without delay. Only in this y, he said, could the crisis be averted. Admiral Shoulderstrap, one of the bravest desk sailors that ever lobbied a bill or delivered an after-dinner “LI PE PVP WALKER VM SURE WE'LL NEVER BE TAKEN FOR A BRIDE AND GROOM, JACK DEAREST.” speech, declared that our coast defenses were in terrible shape and would continue to invite invasion until a certain iriend of his received a large contract for fixing them up. Other close observers agree t the only way war and complete annihilation can be averted is by passing an extra large appropriation for army and navy purposes. An Early Romance R. HARVEY WILEY has announced the formal en- gagement of his son to a young lady of Kentucky. This young lady is at present two years old and Dr. Wiley's son is only a few weeks old. The wedding ¢ has not yet been set, but that is a detail which can be arranged later. Personally, we do not approve of such a long engage- ment. How does Dr. Wiley know that his son may not get tired of the young lady in ten or twelve years? The main hope seems to be that they shall not see each other Indeed, if the news can be kept from either of them, it might reconcile them later to their fate. T looks as if the President after his retirement could do useful work as Mr. Roosevelt’s official biographer. The little tch presented to Massachusetts, and in- cidentally to the world, is an indication that he knows his man about as well as Boswell knew Johnson. comicbooks.com