Life, 1912-06-20 · page 12 of 44
Life — June 20, 1912 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page offers tongue-in-cheek advice to newlyweds about honeymoon travel. The left margin features decorative cupid illustrations. The main text humorously warns grooms to: - Give their bride spending money ("four or five hundred dollars in crisp new bills") - Avoid surprising her with home renovations upon return - Maintain politeness toward strangers while traveling - Not boast excessively about their hotel accommodations A captioned illustration shows a "Justice of the Peace" officiating a wedding, with dialogue about obtaining clothes before departure. Another illustration depicts a man with dogs and a barrel, captioned with a jest about a spaniel drinking beer all afternoon—the "hypocrite" reference being satirical wordplay. The overall tone is light domestic satire aimed at male readers, reflecting early 20th-century gender expectations and marriage norms.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
*LIPFE« Some Honeymoon Advice UCCESS upon a honeymoon depends not so much upon the route taken as upon the company’ selected. One of the great drawbacks to a successful honeymoon, how- ever, lies in the fact that it cannot be rehearsed before- hand. Some people fall into the habit of repeating it at irregular intervals during a lifetime. In spite of this, the majority of honeymoons are emi- nently successful, except in results; nobody knows what these will be. Try to he polite to your honeymoon companion and treat her with the deference duc her; later, when you ¢ been married ten or fifteen years, and have been trained to fetch and carry, to lie down and play you are dead, and to hold out your paw, this will become second nature. But you will be surprised to find out how forgetful you are at first about those litle attentions which please the heart of every loving and trusting bride. *Before starting out on your journey you should carelessly and nonchalantly hand her four or five hundred dollars in crisp new bills, explaining that she might just as well have some loose change about her in case you should be parted in the crowd. You can borrow it back from her at the end of the honeymoon; in fact, you will probably be obliged to do this in order to pay your first month's rent in advance. If you marry a widow, however, take no chances. Don't hand her over any crisp bills, for you will never see them again. When you travel, try to assume an easy and familiar air with the total strangers who line your path- way. Do not try to deceive any- body about your blissful condition. On the other hand, it is not good taste, when you arrive at a hotel, to walk up to the proprietor and in stentorian tones announce that you have just been married; that nothing is too good for you, and that you want the finest suite in the hotel. This is entirely super- fluous. And, above all things, do not fur- nish a home secretly and attempt to surprise your bride upon your return with a new color scheme or a set of decorations. There is always an impulse upon the part of eve amateur — bride- groom to do this. Justice of the Peace: WANT TO GIT MARRIED, DO YE? ALL RIGHT, KIN YE WAIT TILL 1 GIT SOME CLOTHES ON? He loves to think of the little cry of surprise which the bride will give when she sees the cozy home which his loving care has provided for her. In real life, however, the bride is more likely to consider that she has been in- jured. Whatever home you may provide for her, there- fore, present it to her in the shape of good, hard cash and allow her to do the rest. A really successful honeymoon is one which can be repeated with the same woman every few years and still retain its freshness and its charm; this is the only real “THE HYPOCRITE! HE TOLD ME HE WAS A WATER SPANIEL, AND HE'S BEEN DRINKING BEER ALL THE AFTERNOO comicbooks.com