Life, 1912-06-13 · page 16 of 44
Life — June 13, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical pieces mocking early 20th-century American society and pretension. **Top narrative** ("In sight of the North Pole"): Satirizes a wealthy, self-absorbed millionaire who enjoys hearing phonograph recordings of his own voice while donating to libraries for vanity. The piece mocks his complaint that coal is now affordable to working-class women and children—treating economic democratization as a personal tragedy. The references to Frank Hitchcock's wireless experiments and Dr. Flexner's dog-cutting instruments suggest absurdist humor about scientific/business incompetence. **"To a Rhyming Dictionary"** (right column): A poem by Robert Wiener attacking modern poets' lazy reliance on rhyming dictionaries rather than genuine inspiration. It laments that contemporary versifiers use mechanical aids instead of the Muse's grace—a complaint about declining poetic standards. **"No Mystery"** (bottom right): A brief joke where "Scrappy" mentions a woman "stung" who can't talk. Scrappy's response that a non-talking woman would confound doctors more than any medical mystery plays on the period's sexist trope of women's excessive talking.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“In sight of the North Pole” stpplied with a phonograph and a com- plete set of blank records. He spends half of the time in making donations to libraries and hearing himself talk, and the rest of the time in listening to what he has said. He is perfectly happy. The only miserable one is Tiaer. The fact that the coal mines of this country are no longer controlled by a small clique of God-fearing million- aires chills me to the bone!” he said this morning to Simon Flexner. “ And would you believe it, poor women and children are actually buying coal as cheap as anybody else. God help us all!) And I can’t go bac! Frank Hitchcock has tried to get into communication with the express companies by wireless, but without ef- fect. The parcels post is now assured. This morning Dr. Flexner threw a complete set of dog-cutting instru- ments out of the window, with eighty new recipes for serums and toxins he had thought out during the night. All hope is lost,” he said as the car came in sight of the North Pole. We have just received the following cablegram from King George: Lier, New York: Mary and 1 your. great guests permanently rejoiced at With your <iled, we see are succes: no reason why the American re- public should not persist for cen- turies to come. On Sunday in prominent church in the country will be sung that well-known hymn, —* Praise God from) Whom All Flow.” In conclusion, we beg to state that nobody need have the slightest alarm. As long as that car and gasoline hold out we are safe. every Blessings Intimate Terms OUISE: Do know Clara well? Junta: Do 1? comb her hair. you She lets me see her THE GREATEST STUDY To a Rhyming Dictionary W LL-WORN classic of the coming Poets of our generation ; Hand-book which, from frequent thumb- ing, Has succeeded in becoming Poesy’s contamination ! With thine aid the mystic sonnet Needs no fiery conviction. He who sets his mind upon it Can describe milady’s bonnet In the flightiest of diction. Time was when the Muse would favor Those whom Inspiration chooses ; Now all rhyming scems to savor Of the dictionary's flavor, Makeshift for the absent: Muses. Al too long that winded jade, Pegasus with clipped wings, Has the hobby-horse been made OF cach scribbling renegade Who with rhyming word book sings. True, it's revolutionary To deprive these many-sages— Hush, T pray, for in this very Tirade ‘gainst the dictionary Oft I've turned its tattered pages. Robert Wiener. No Mystery M! SCRAPPY: Did you see this, John? Woman Stung! Can't Tal Puzzles Doctors! Scrarry: Mary, a woman's tongue that can’t talk would puzzle more than doctors. OF MANKIND Is—— comicbooks.com