Life — May 30, 1912 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1122 -LIFE:- Intimate Interviews HE door opened, and W. J. Bryan, arm in arm with W. J. Bryan, sauntered in and took two democratic looking seats in the “16 to 1” cosy corner that had been provided for that purpose. They smiled at each other harmoniously. “Well, old chap,” said W. J. Bryan, “you're looking very well.” "First rate, considering my arduous duties during the past twelve years. But you've been a great help, old fellow.” “You flatter me. “T flatter everybody. Why not myself?” “Well, now, let's get down to business and figure up the results. How long have we been at it?” “Say, about twelve years.” “ And we've never once been President!” “No, that’s been our salvation. Look at Taft! Look at Teddy! Think of what they might be to-day if they hadn't been.” “That's true, old fellow. But, on the other hand—this is just between you and me—I have always had a sneaking desire to be President.” “Ah! Then you're the one that has been causing me all this trouble? I might have been going on boldly as- suming that I didn’t want to be President all these years and running every time just out of pure force of habit. And now you come along and acknowledge that you are the one that has been egging me on. Do you think this is manly of you?” As he said this, W. J. Bryan looked at W. J. Bryan re- proachfully. “Well, why not?” said W. J. Bryan in reply. “ Why shouldn't I egg you on? A good American citizen ought not to feel badly for aspiring to be President. And, be- sides, it's a matter of pride with me. I felt that the only thing left for both of us was to make a failure of some- thing, and surely if we had been President——” W. J. Bryan got up and shut the door. He turned and slapped himself on the back. “Now, my dear fellow,” he said quietly, “let's under- stand each other. Do you consider that all hope is lost? Isn't there yet time? The country is ripe for a change. Why not reach forward and pluck the golden political apple——” “Did you say golden?” “Well, why not?) Why not make it golden instead of silver, as it used to be? Why not step into the breach and come out and stampede the convention?” 1S THE ARMY JEALOUS OF THE “I flatter everybody " “But, my dear boy, there's Woodrow Wilson; there's Harmon.” “Yes, and they’re both of them overtraining. Wilson is talking himself to death and Harmon doesn’t know how to advertise. Now we are old stagers at the game.” “My boy, it can’t be done. You've had your day. Nothing remains now but to be an editor or go into vaude- ville.” “You think so, do you?” “I most certainly do. “Then in that case it will not be necessary for us to issue any statement saying that we positively will not run again unless——” “Unless! "—— And so, shaking hands with each other, W. J. Bryan and W. J. Bryan went out and ordered the printer’s devil to bring them in the usual dollar luncheon. URING the Spanish-American War the Navy Depart- ment, by way of a graceful compliment to the great universities, renamed two converted cruisers Harvard and Yale. Not long after Commodore Dewey was asked what new names should be conferred upon two little Spanish gunboats that had been captured in Philippine waters. “Oh,” said the Commodore, “ we'll just call one The Mas- sachusetts Institute of Technology and the other The Pennsylvania College for Physicians and Surgeons.” In Our Village TRANGER (in Lonelyville): What's all the excite- ment? Native: Rube Perkins jest put thirty-five dollars in the savings bank! comicbooks.com