Life, 1912-05-30 · page 13 of 44
Life — May 30, 1912 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece depicts an early 1900s automobile trip featuring military and political figures. The main illustration shows four men in an ornate early motorcar heading "northward." The accompanying article indicates "The Colonel" (likely Theodore Roosevelt, given the military title and prominence in Life magazine of that era) wants to tour the country in this vehicle as a gift from patriotic manufacturers. The satire centers on the tension between Roosevelt's desire for a post-presidential "rest" and the chaos such a high-profile auto tour would cause. The poem "War! I sing!" mocks militaristic rhetoric, while the article notes the Colonel will inevitably attract attention and disruption, contradicting any hopes for a quiet journey—poking fun at the impossibility of Roosevelt traveling inconspicuously.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“ Life's auto is now plunging northward" The Colonel Wants to Go But is It Desirable or Expedient to Let Him Have His Way ?—Life’s Great Auto Tour Now in Progress and Applauded by AR I sing! The flash and ring Of the bright sword, The banners high, The battle cry, Of the great Lord! War I sing! The stab and swing swift knife, smoke like rain, The joy and pain, Of the fight for lifel War I sing! The mighty thing That rules us all. A soldier's life, A soldier's strife, A soldier's fall! Leolyn Louise Everett. An Advertisement OST, Strayed or Stolen—A Smile. It is one of those large, broad, genial, landscape-covering, vote-for- me smiles. Owner has a high regard for it, not only on account of its in- trinsic value as a political asset, but also on account of its associations, recollections and early friendships. When last seen it was chasing a wide- brimmed campaign hat around a ring. Finder will please return to W. H. T., Washington, D. C., and receive ap- pointment to office. Entire Country. “ Colonel is after us! re's auto is plunging north- The great car—an enthusiastic gift from the patriotic manufacturers of America—is now on the most ideal tour ever undertaken, The plan of giving the country a much needed rest, by sending as our guests such well-known gentlemen as George Baer, Simon Flexner, An- drew Carnegie and Frank Hitch- cock, is meeting with unusual appro- bation. . Reports from Kansas City, Omaha, Denver, San Francisco, Dallas, Texa: Portland, Oregon; New Orleans, Louisiana, and other centres, indicate the great importance of Lire’s auto tour. Bonfires will be burned to-night at midnight and the American flag flies over all public buildings. . We have had attached to the car a new device so arranged that nothing that our guests can say will ever reach the outside public. This is patented and copyrighted, and the royalties will Peace Now Here. be turned over to the peace congress. No one wanted to sit with Andrew Carnegie, and he was, therefore, put on the end, and strapped down. He com- plained that he could not see any of his libraries as they passed through the country. Frank Hitchcock bol- stered his head with a package of con- gratulations from the Adams Express Company, and he lay dormant until the car had passed Yonkers The full effects of this automobile trip are naturally not yet realized, It is hoped that our guests will spend the evening in the seclusion of Bennington, Vermont, where there is practically no possibility of getting in touch with the outside world. But the Colonel! He is crazy to join the other guests in the car and has wired us as follows: “Realize my time is coming. Would like to go down into obscurity in just the way you have planned. Will you consider my application?” To which we have replied: “Never! Your presence not neces- comicbooks.com