Life, 1912-05-16 · page 50 of 52
Life — May 16, 1912 — page 50: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements and light humor** rather than political satire. The content includes: **Main Elements:** 1. **"Birds Are Early Risers"** – A gentle joke about a Southern woman mishearing a bird's chirp as "morning" (playing on dialect humor popular in early 1900s publications). 2. **"A Ballade of Suicide"** by G.K. Chesterton – A whimsical poem about someone contemplating suicide but repeatedly deciding against it for mundane reasons (upcoming payday, unread books, mushroom recipes). It's philosophical dark humor rather than political commentary. 3. **Advertisements** for Chiclets gum, Grand Hotel St. Moritz (Swiss resort), Old I.W. Harper Whiskey, and Cape Cod vacations—typical period luxury marketing. The page reflects **early 20th-century sensibilities**: mild racial/regional humor, Chesterton's intellectual wit, and aspirational advertising targeting affluent readers. There is no apparent political cartoon or sharp satire—simply entertainment and product promotion typical of *Life* magazine's lighter content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Birds Are Early Risers He was an affable young man and de- sirous of demonstrating his kindly and genial disposition. So when the canary bird chirped sleepily from its cage on the wall he spoke up chcerily. “What's the matter, bird?” he in- quired. The girl glanced at him with a dreamy smile. She was a Southern girl and she spoke with a gentle drawl. “He thinks it’s mawnin',” she cooed. The man who loves birds hasn't been beck.—Kansas City Star. hic DELIGHTFUL The Dainty Niint Covered Cand) Coated Chewing Hum Just ask your doctor what he thinks of Chiclets. Doc- tors, dentists and trained nurses use and recommend Chiclets for their patients’ use and use them themselves in the sick-room, the once orhome. That exquisite pep; mint, the frue mint, makes Cl ice lets the refinement of chewing gum for people of refinement. Look for the Bird Cards in the packages. You can secure a beau- tiful Bird Album free. For Sale at all the Better Sort of Stores $c. the Ounce and in Sc., 10c. and 25c. Packets SEN-SEN CHICLET COMPANY Metropolitan Tower New York SWITZERLAN. vit ST, MORITZ Stress With its World-Renowned Mineral Springs Highest and Most Fascinating Resort in Switzerland The exhilarating Alpine air and sunshine of ST. MORITZ _ promote RENEWED HEALTH and VIGOR. GRAND HOTEL ST. MORITZ The Hotel de Luxe of the Alps Openedin 1905. Every Modern Improvement. 300 rooms. Private Suites, with own Bath and Dressing Rooms. Thorough quiet secured by double passages. Grand Society Lounge, with most beautiful view on the Lake and Mountains. Most modern Sanitary and Ventilating arrangements. Vacuum Cleaner. Lifts to all Floors. Daily Concerts by the Milan Orchestra. Mtustrated Tartf from "Town and Country" Travel Bureau, 389 FYth Ate, N. For Health and Pleasure SEASON from June to Septem! Tennis, Golf, Croquet, Boating on the Lake, shina, Great Variety of Delightful Excursions Engadine Express Train: Calals—Parts—St. Moritz fram the Hotel Manager: or (in Enstand), indon. Grom COULD & PORTALANS, Lid, G4 New Oiford Street La A Ballade of Suicide The gallows in my garden, people say, Is new and neat and adequately tall; I tie the noose on in a knowing way As one that knots his necktie for a ball; But just as all the neighbors—on the wall— Are drawing a long breath to shout “ Hurray!" The strangest whim has seized me. . . « After all I think I will not hang myself to-day. To-morrow is the time I get my pay— My uncle’s sword is hanging in the hall— I sce a little cloud all pink and gray— Perhaps the rector’s mother will not call— I fancy that I heard from Mr. Gall That mushrooms could be cooked another way— I never read the works of Juvenal— I think I will not hang myself to-day. The world will have another washing day The decadents decay ; the pedants pall; And H. G. Wells has found that children play, And Bernard Shaw discovered that they squall. Rationalists are growing rational— And through thick woods one finds a stream astray So secret that the very sky seems small— I think I will not hang myself to-day. ENVOI Prince, I can hear the trump of Ger- minal, The tumbrils toiling up the terrible way; Even to-day your royal head may fall, I think I will not hang myself to-day. G. K. Chesterton in London Eye-Witness 1090 GRANDFATHER USED STILL THE BEST. Note style 2 bottling A perfect whiskey of the Old School. The favorite with connoisseurs. Sold and recommended by the better class Dealers, BERNHEIM DISTILLING CO. LOUISVILLE, KY. Spend Your Vacation on Quaint Cape Cod Seashore, Woods and Country. Cool breezes always- Splendid fishi achting, bathing and go! Send for “‘Quaint Cape Cod.” It’s free Write ADVERTISING BUREAU, Room 799, South Station, Boston. NEW YORK, NEW HAVEN & HARTFORD R. R. Not were Knigh Dair land. sented Ie ist The ean | world. Panl The the St silence. It is any spi Knight for six | | } «0 show Conti Kitaro Fear Toy | Roz comicbooks.com