Life, 1912-05-16 · page 34 of 52
Life — May 16, 1912 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous items typical of Life's satirical content: **"See the Maiden with the Ring"** is a poetic piece mocking women's obsession with engagement rings as symbols of marital security. The repeated "ring, ring, ring" emphasizes materialism and female vanity—how women gleefully display diamonds to impress peers. **"Choice Locations"** is a brief joke about advertising space competition, playing on how newspapers want premium placement near baseball coverage (then extremely popular). **"He Stuttered Too"** tells of a man with a severe stutter who asks about Pittsburgh's distance. When another passenger leaves without answering, the stutterer learns the man feared getting mocked for his own speech impediment—a sympathetic joke about social shame around disabilities. The page is primarily filled with **financial advertisements** promoting railroad and utility bonds. These were common in early-20th-century magazines targeting wealthy readers seeking investments. The overall tone reflects Life's satirical approach to contemporary society: mocking consumerism, social pretension, and human awkwardness while maintaining genteel humor appropriate for middle/upper-class readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AAMT SeI99oR5, A See the Maiden with the Ring Sce the maiden with the ring— Diamond ring! What a sweet assurance that she has him on a string! Sce it glitter, glitter, glitter, With a radiance rich and rare, While her lady friends they titter With a soft and bird-like twitter, As they pipe the solitaire. And their cyes shine bright, With an optimistic light, In the cheering scintillations that so gloriously spring From the ring, ring, ring, ring, Ring, ring, ring— From the gleaming and the beaming of the ring! —Lippincott's. Choice Locations “The advertising man has his troubles these days.”” “As to how?” verybody wants space next to pure baseball. matter."—Pittsburg Post. * WHO INVENTED Bis eb “Vb LIKE TO GET A CRACK AT THE 1D10T LOOKING GLASSES.” He Stuttered Too Three strangers were in the Pullman smoker, when one of them turned to another and asked: “H-How {-f-f-far is it t-t-to Pittsburgh?” The man addressed made no reply, but got up and left the car, The stutterer «then turned to the third man, who gave him the information, A few moments afterward the third man met the one who had left the car and said: “See here! P-P-P- Why did you go out with- out answering, when that man asked | you a civil question?” | “D-D-Do you think I w-w-wanted to j g-e-g-get m-my head knocked off?" was rival of a new summer resident. “She came in to-day,” he said, with enthusiasm, “and I can tell you she’s a real lady, brought up select and exclu- sive. from another, nor veal from mutto: —Youth’s Companion. She don't know one cut o' meat t Britain, Canada and British foreign cozntries in the Postal Union, $1.04 Hack numbers, after three months from \dvance. Additional postage t a year; to Canada, $2 € gle current copies, 10 € date of publication, 2$ cents. Issues prior to 1910 out of print. Ne contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addvened envelope. responsible for the lass er manoreturn of wnislicited contributions Live {s for sale by all Newedealers in Great Britain, The International News Company, Breams Buildin: Lave deer met held itelf . 37 Ave. de Opera, Pari 48 Roe du Faubourg, Se Chancery Lane. Londo News Exchanges, 2 Gasaro Modena, Milan; Mayence, Germany. at Saarbach's arises 1, Via ‘The text and ibusrations im LIVE are capyrighted. Far Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply co Lave, 114 Ww. Southampton Rete, Lends Prompt mitifcation should be vent by mabueribert of any change ef addren. We Recommend for Investment TWO FIRST MORTGAGE RAILROAD GUARANTEED BONDS TO YIELD OVER 5% 1—A first mortgage steam railroad bond guaran- teed by one cf the largest and strongest railway systems in the Southwest, whose earnings last year were more than 14 times its total interest charges —at a price to yield 5.16%. 2—A first mortgage railroad bond guaranteed by the third largest public utility corporation in the United States, earning 8% on its common stock— at a price to yield 5.13%. TWO FIRST MORTGAGE PUBLIC UTILITIES BONDS TO YIELD OVER 56% 3—A first mortgage public utility bond on a property which is considered by engineers to be the best of its kind in the United States, and earning 3 times its total bond interest—at a price to yield 5-257. 4—A first mortgage public utility bond, the interest on which is being earned three times over, and which is a direct obligation of the largest public service corporation in the United States—at a price to yield nearly 5%. EASTMAN, DILLON & CO. Members New York Stock Exchange INVESTMENT BANKERS 71 Broadway, - - New York Our Statistical Department is continually engaged in studies and analyses all stocks and bonds, and will be pleased to answer inquiries, Nearly 0 century's Reputation the answer.—Ladies’ Home Journal. I A Well-Bred Customer In the privacy of his home the village butcher was telling his wife of the ar- i Colonies Abroad Messrs, Andrew Usher & Co. have been appointed Purveyors of Whisky to His Majesty King GeorgeV. LZ I (Wf The Standard of Excellenc