Life — May 2, 1912 — page 40: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Say This Quickly Betty Botter bought some butter. “But,” she said, “this butter’s bitter; If I put it in my batter, It will make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter Will but make my batter better.” So she bought a bit o” butter Better than the bitter butter, And made her bitter batter better. So ‘twas better Betty Botter Bought a bit of better butter. —Tit-Bits. Heroic Measures Tom: That Miss Biggles is the poorest conversationalist I ever met. His Hostess: Is that so? Tom: Yes. The only thing she said to me the whole evening was “ No,” and I had to propose to her to get her to say that.—Boston Transcript. ‘Fatt, New Haven, lationa’ between New York and Be Your Own Weather Prophet No. 2305 ght unprepared. Nothing is so interesting, so fickle, so fascinating as “weather.” You can antic ‘ advance information on it—by consult night and morning your S$ @M “Jeos' BAROGRAPH (Recording Barometer) The highest type of weather instrument. Don’t be writes a weather record, art—the most reliable form ga e, with plate glass sides for fling "weather records. $63.00 S&M“Tycos” Barographs contain features unknown on others. The BAROMETER BOOK--FREE .¥—tells about storms, fair weather. rain 1a simple, unselentifie language. 8 &M “Tycos” Weather Instruments are sold only by the better class of Opticlans and Scientife Tostrument Deal ler cannot supply you, write us. Made by SHORT & MASON, Ltd.. London Division Makers of Scientife Instruments to ihe United States, the British, the Japanese and other Governments, Taylor Instrument Companies 65 Ames St. ROCHESTER, N.Y. “Where Tycos? Thermometers come from." illustrated abov provides Sranklin Simon & Co. Fifth Avenue, New York The “Parfait” Washable Silk Shirt For Women and Misses No. 16N, ‘Parfait’? Washable Silk Shirt, Mannish Model, Superior Quality Silk in white with lavender, blue or black stripes, also in plain white or plain black, French turned-back cuffs and de- tachable collar. Sizes 32 to 44 bust. SPECIAL 3. 95 Value $5. Fifth Ave., 37th and 38th Sts., New York Mark Was Right Mark Twain was visiting H. H. Rogers, who, leading the humorist to his library, said, as he pointed to a bust of white marble, “ What do you think of that?” It was a bust of a young woman coil- ing her hair, a very graceful example of modern Italian sculpture. Mr. Clemens looked at it a moment and than he said: “Tt isn't true to nature.” “Why not?” Mr. Rogers asked. She ought to have her mouth full of hairpins,” said the humorist. —National Monthly. Quite Satisfactory An old colored barber is responsible for this gem: When asked if he favored the abolishing of capital punishment, he replied: “ No, sah, I don’t. Capital pun- ishment was good enough fo! my fo'- fathers, an’ it’s good enough fo’ me.” —Boston Transcript. In a Pinch, use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE, Passer-B' What's the fuss in schoolyard, boy? | Tue Boy; Why, the doctor has just | the been around examinin’ us an’ one of the deficient boys is knockin’ th’ everlastin’ stuffin’s out of a perfect kid. —Cleveland Plain Dealer. Caroni Bitters. The best by test. Send as8 cents or sample bottle with patent dasher, and be convinced. Oct. C. Blache & Co.. 78 Broad St., New York, Gen'l Distrs, 932 The purest, the healthiest and the perfect of all Beauty Creams THE CREME SIMON IS BENEFICIAL Its principal element is glycerine, which gira to the skin health and softness, and does # make hair grow on the face. POWDER and SOAP M. Levy, Sole U. 8. Agent, 3 East 17th St.