Life — April 18, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*LIP Ee: Farewell to Wiley Amalgamated Associations of American Adulterators Hold Big Banquet—Grand Outlook for Future (Sp ASHINGTON, D.C. April 15.-= The process of cleansing Wash- ington of its useful officials goes mer- rily onward. Since the resignation of Dr. Wiley there has been a continual and swelling tide of rejoicing Last night, at the Grafters’ Hotel, ne departure of Dr. Wiley was com- memorated by a large banquet. under the auspices of the Amalgamated As- American Adulterators. his is a powerful organization, and includes, not only adulterators of food. ut adulterators as well of politics, of ‘ory, of patriotism and of American. products ations of logic, of oF other well-known The toastmaster of the banquet was Mr. 1, Lobbywell, from one of the makers of wooden nutmegs felicitous in his remarks, reveal- He said that the Wiley left nothing lieved who is descended famous Connecticut He was very ga rare idealism retirement of Dr to be desired by those who 1 that no nation could long survi honest products. The principal speaker of the evening eon PURITAN LIFE jal to Lire) was Mr. Ben Zoate Killam, who is not only one of the largest canners of the untry, but sod to his iamily that he doesn’t even feed them He said in part beloved who is so ¢ on his own products There is no man in my United States who is more in favor of pure food than fam, but—and when I ality [ want it understood that | am an authority on this subject—but pure food at the present stage of our de- velopment is impracticable and is de- manded only by idle dreamers and in- cendiary agitators who want. to tear down our industries. I know for a certainty that many of our producers, if compelled to put out products that contained no poison, would have to sell their art collections, educate their daughters at the public schools and perhaps even cut their cham- pagne bills. This, manifestly, would be ruinow both artists and cham- pagne dealers. It must be understood that many sacrifices are necessary if progress is to continue and, therefore, I call upon all good citizens who find themselves poisoned to remember that they are suffering in a good cause, that they are helping to support a great in- dustry.” down Mr. Killam was received with great applause, and followed by Mr Storrage Plant, who said in part: was “T look upon this gala occasion as grand homecoming. the past w years the members of this organ- ation have received but a scanty wel- come in this our beloved nation’s cap- ital, but I am glad to say that the cl are rolling by. I look for an immediate revival of industry, and I venture to predict that, within a few years, adulteration will have been so fi that we shall all be rolling in profits and thus reflect great credit upon the staunch and rugged com- mon sense of our vast domain.” The souvenirs of the banquet, gold- mounted ptomaines, studded with imi- tation pearls, were the gift of Mr. J. Bivalve Polluter. EB Ords per: d all Y ly NY APRIL SHOWERS Concerning Coal Ov attempts to fathom the ethics of the dispute between the co miners and the coal operators reve several noteworthy facts: First—The operators look upon any request of the miners for and shorter hours as unjustitiable Second—The miners look upon any refusal of the higher w justifiable operators to. gran es and shorter hours as un- Third—The stockholders look upon any attempt to lower the rate of divi dends as unjustifiable Fourth—The public looks upon any attempt to raise the price of coal unjustifiable. Fifth—Each of these interests fe« that, unless the vernment is likel to he on its particular side, any inter ference by the Government is unit tifiable. The Powers That Be in their i finite wisdom may have placed the co:! mines in the hands of Mr. Baer and his associates, but even the Powers That Be are unable to make the public sat isfied with the arrangement or th workers satisfied with their wages or the conditions of labor.