Life, 1912-04-04 · page 52 of 80
Life — April 4, 1912 — page 52: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Life magazine is primarily an **advertising compilation** rather than political satire. The major content includes: **"Up Against the Bars"** (top left): A satirical poem about Old King Cole where the third fiddler cannot perform because he lacks a union card. This mocks union requirements—suggesting excessive labor protectionism prevents work completion. **The Huyler's chocolate advertisement** (center) dominates the page, promoting their quality confections and retail network. **"Don't Scrape Your Face"** (left side): An advertisement for the "Universal" Safety Razor emphasizing superior blade technology. **"Those Unnecessary Questions"** (right): A brief humorous anecdote about a court case where witness testimony includes an absurd question that the judge paradoxically orders struck while admitting questions typically "go with" testimony—mocking legal absurdities. The remaining content comprises product advertisements (Calox tooth powder, French Bulldog kennels, religious publications). The page reflects early 20th-century American consumer culture and satirizes labor unions and legal procedures, but is primarily commercial in nature.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
— ACH individual piece of the forty or more varieties of candy in a box of 4e receives its full share of careful, skilled attention. By making every candy up to the highest standard we maintain an unvarying quality in Aigher —whether you judge them by one piece,one pound, or one year of patronage. There are 54 Huyler stores in the United States and Canada and over 4000 <feée agents—the best drug- gists in their respective communitics. To get the name of the nearest «S47 agent or store Write for Interesting Booklet Chocolate Ante Food Haloed Up Against the Bars Old King Cole was a merry old soul; A merry old soul was he! He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl, And he called for his fiddlers three. But only two of the fiddlers came; The third, was barred From carning his Chocolate Plantation Chocslate “Ancol Feed aS Bonbons “% Chocolates they said, living thenceforth, because He carried no union card. Nor came the pipe with its fra weed, Nor the bowl with its golden brew; For all such things had been driven from co which tells the remarkable story of eee, giving alist of many of the Huyler popular confections, and tell- ing the public how quality and purity are assured in all <S67 products. highs 64 Irving Place, New York ng Post wife made her will? veloped it Transcript Hex Prex ; she’s merely —Boston Don’t Scrape Your Face! The Modern Father “Your pa will lick you if you are out here skating on knows this thie Those Unnecessary Questions Use the The damage suit was on, and Bildad’s chauffeur was testifying for the plain- “Universal” Safety Razor). A Better Cutting Principle and Better Now, you say,” said the pompous Blades make it equal to the Supreme lawyer for the defendant, “that at this i. r Point the two cars travelin Te t—a wiry beard and tender skin. OF thifty smiles a hour came ee ated head on, Then what did you do? Where is the Wild West? ated wearily at be “Gosh, stranger! Can't. you read? : In the current magazines; wh: expect to find it—running But he won't know, Ii 5 writing my composition and doing my lessons for me."—Boston Globe. Located The diagonal draw cut severs— not tears—each hair without scraping or irritating the face. The witness questioner. “Why,” he said, “I turned to my The hollow ground interchange- wife, who was brushing the baby’s hair able blades are so uniformly | in the tonneau, and I said that I perfect in temper that their thought the dumplings must be done by : n be held is — . indefinitely. This does away | eee canrriey said tis bones with the customary constant Hae er emaanees said Bis honors eb eda ete “strike that fool answer from the rec- new blade expense. ord.” “And doesn’t the question go with it, around this time— The self-regulating safety guard always automatically assumes the same adjustment, alw: judge?” asked the witness meekly. “Sure! said his honor, forgetting «the dignity of his calling for the mo- Mixed with water Calox forms peroxide gives the same safe, quic i ment.—F comforting shave. hydrogen, the only known substance that wl whiten the teeth without injury. Dentists adviseits use. Physicians prevrbeit ‘All Draggiats, 25 Cent Sample and Booklet free on req’ McKESSON & ROBBINS - Ni ‘Ww YO 4 for the Calox Tooth Brus! NEVER-NEVER-LAND KENNELS rper’s Weekly. Armenian massacres were the interest and sympathy of the civilized world a newspaper cor- respondent rushed excitedly one day into the office of Assistant Secretary of State A. A. Adce with the question: “Mr. Secretary, will you tell me defi- nitely whether or not the United States Government will send any battleships to Armenia?” Booklet. “No ships will be sent plied Adee, with great gravity. Landers, gation, I am informed, has not been \ Frary & good in the vicinity of Ararat since the N Clark time of Noah's ark.”"—Argonaut. 433, COMMERCIAL ST. NEW BRITAIN, CONN. Wuew the command “Universal” With “Universal” Strop Complete Traveler's Set $5.00 $2.50 everywhere Your barber doesn’t use a scraping razor. Ask him why. Send for Razor Miss Mary Winthrop, Owner French Bull Dogs pies and Grown Dogs FOR SALE? “From only Reziotered and Btue-Ribbon Stock. SHELTER ISLAND HEIGHTS, Telephone, 47 Shelter Island. and other Unitarian Publications, sent free. Ads? MISS LILLIAN C, THACHER. 69 Alleghany Street. Roxber Caronl Bitters. A good friend of all the family. Sam- ple bottle will surely captivate you. 25 cents will bring it. Oct. C. Blache & Co., 78 Broad St.. New York, Gen'l Distrs. 116