Life, 1912-03-28 · page 34 of 50
Life — March 28, 1912 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 1900s Life magazine: **"Training Begins"** mocks baseball players who performed in vaudeville during off-season. The joke: when they hit successfully, they instinctively take stage bows instead of running bases—conflating theatrical performance with athletic competition. **"The Web and the Victim"** is a romantic short story satirizing manipulative courtship tactics. A woman plots to trap a wealthy suitor (Mr. Yancey) into proposing by creating an intimate parlor setting, even hiding a dictaphone in the coal scuttle to record evidence. It mocks both the woman's scheming and the man's timidity. **Minor jokes** include: a pastor who cures rheumatism but causes insomnia, and a man hearing car horns assumes his wife's elopement partner is returning. The remainder is period advertising (Feltoid casters, Burpee seeds, Hunter Whiskey, Paris-Lyon railway). The satire reflects 1910s anxieties about theatrical artificiality in daily life, gender manipulation in courtship, and emerging technology (automobiles, dictaphones).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Training Begins The manager of the ball team lined them up and looked them over. “All those who have been in vaude- ville during the winter kindly step for- ward.” The entire team stepped forward. “TI thought so,” said the manager. “Well, boys, just bear in mind this one tule. It will go hard with the man who disregards it.” “What is it, cap?” “When you make a hit, and the audi- ence applauds it, don't stop to bow on your way to first bas. —Washington Herald. Sue: The Rev. Wilkins is something of a faith healer, you know, and I'm thinking of attending his church for my rheumatism. He: I can recommend him for insom- nia.—Sydney Bulletin, GREAT DEAR SPRING WATER 50 cents per case of G glass stoppered bottles “FELTOID” Casters and Tips will not scratch, mar, or stain hardwood floors,—are noise proof, and wear indefinitely. “FELTOID” Casters and Tips are made of an indestructible, resilient material which serves as a cushion tread, re- ceives and absorbs the impact, and In- sures Absolute Floor and Rug Protection. Farniture and Hardware Dealers will supply you. You just try them —and make sure that “FELTOID" is stamped on every wheel and tip. Insist on having “FELTOID” Casters or Tips put on all new furniture you purchase—it should cost you nothing extra. Send a postal anyway for booklet.F. 8, The Burns & Bassick Company Sole Manufacturers Dept. F.8. Bridgeport, Conn, is known the world over as synonymous with The The Name Bu EE Best Serduahat Grow! Are You willing to pay afair price for selected seeds of the choicest vegetables and most beautiful flowers? If so, it may prove of mutual interest if you write to-day (a postal card will do) for The 1912 Burpee Annual. Thisis a bright new book.of 178 pages that is intensely interesting to every one who gardens cither for pleasure or profit. Shall we mail you a copy? If so, what is your address? Our address is, W. ATLEE BURPEE & CO., Philadelphia The Web and the Victim PARIS—LYON—, EDITERRAN E The haughty but somewhat passée beauty drew a deep breath. “That rich Mr. Yancey is coming to- night, mother.” Yes, my dear. And do you think he will propose?” The girl nodded. “Yes, mother. I don’t intend to wait any longer. He must propose before he leaves the house.” “But he’s so timid, my dear. He might propose and then run away.” “He won't run far, mother. I'm pre- pared for all that. Our cosy parlor is FRANCE’S GREATEST RAILWAY Visit the Syath of France, the entrancing, sun-kissed ard rose-scented RIVIERA. THE LAND OF ROMANCE, SONG AND FLOWERS BEAULIEU, the fashionable Winter resort. MONTE CARLO, tts magnificeat Dalarcs and bustling crow 3 ¢ Best of All, HUNTER WHISKEY HIGH-BALL Sold at all first-class cafes and by jobbers, WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. waiting for him, the grate fire is allur- ing, the lights are turned low, the easicst chair waits by the fender and the dic- tagraph is in the coal scuttle! Hark, mother, there's the bell, Let him in, please.” And she looked at herself in the mir- ror over the mantel and smiled. —Cleveland Plain Dealer. “T simpry can’t stand the toot of an automobile horn.” Qa “How's that?” Fanwowe RYE “A fellow cloped with my wife in an : automobile, and every time [ hear a horn toot I think he’s bringing her back.” —Minnesota Minnehaha. THE Ideal Bitters. CARONI—the only genuine. not have the best? They cost no more. Once tried, always Oct. C. Blache & Co., 78 Broad St.. No comicbooks.com few York, Gea'l Distrs.