Life, 1912-03-07 · page 38 of 60
Life — March 7, 1912 — page 38: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements and humor pieces** rather than political satire. The "Our Foolish Contemporaries" section collects humorous anecdotes mocking everyday foolishness: **"Pragmatism"** satirizes a parent's note excusing a child from school—the humor lies in the parent's illogical reasoning. A math problem asks about a man walking, so the parent sends the father instead because the son "ain't no man." **"Man's Sphere"** mocks female suffrage rhetoric. A suffragist asks where man would be without woman; a heckler replies "the Garden of Eden eating strawberries"—suggesting men would be better off without women's demands. The other short pieces ("Fled from Death," "His First Experience," "Fixed") use dialect humor (representing working-class and African American speech) to mock marital situations and employment. The page also contains advertisements for pianos, tooth powder, writing paper, soap, and bitters—typical of early 20th-century magazines. No specific historical figures are caricatured; rather, the humor targets broad social types and contemporary issues like women's suffrage.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Pragmatism This was the note which was handed to one of the grade teachers the other day: “Dear Mum—Please ixcuse Johnny to-day He will not be at school. He 38 acting as timckceper for his father. Last night you gave him this sximple, if a field is.4 miles square how long. wil | “One of the three great it take a man walking 4 miles an hour - 19 walk 2% times around it? Johnny Pianos of the World ain't no man, so we h to send his daddy. They left early this morning. and my husband ssid they ought to he (world “toucshice anish the eame.,aed, address’ of. sone thiahing hack late to-night, tho it would be hard of buying « planus we will thea mail yuu: CREB! « Louk’ cues ing. Dear Mum, please make the nixt tesniny 2 suey ead three nell-haoma compunitions: for: pianos problem about ladies, as my hush can't afford to lose the day's work. 1 : on't have no time to loaf, but T can THE JOUN CULKCH COMPAS pare a day off occasionally better thi ny husband ean. Send us your se on ol the © tno yest panes of the Man's Sphere “Where,” asked the female suffrage orator, “would man he to-day were it not for woman?” She paused a moment and looked round the hall. It’s the Oxygen “T repeat,” she said, “where would in Calox (Peroxide of Hy drogen) that renders it so efficient as a ian be today df net forswoman?” cleanser of the mouth and whitener of the tet . y Ie Dentists advise its u: Physicians prescribe “He'd be in the Garden of Eden eat- ruggists, 25 cents. —_ eberri swered ‘voice - ‘sasapie piby beth Fis ph veut: ing strawberries, answered a voice McKESSON & ROBBINS, NEW YORK from the gallery.— This soap has the fragrance of real violets ‘Aak for the Caloz Tooth Brush, 35¢. ‘Send 2c. in stamps for a Sample Cake today THE ANOREW JERGENS CO., DEPT. X, CINCINNATI, 0. Fled from Death : - We questioned the applicant for a po- For Fine Correspondence or for General Business Uses |j}i)})_ sition as taundress “ Are you married?" we Whiting Papers are Standard |} ce, Fee mae 2 p Ah—and your husband i: {Ha Yassuh—he's sho’ tow did he m an Meet it?) Laws, man, he didn’t meet writing paper. The color, texture, quality, are i it! Dey had ter chase him two mile all indications of your individual character and j fo" dey-all could ketch him an’ put de ., ¢ easily . , r that rope roun’ his neck,” taste You can easily find exactly the pape - Ciceciindt Pats ‘Deatle suits you in every particular among the many correct styles of Whiting Papers. Dealers in Your personality should be expressed in your His First Experience ‘ Hostess (pairing off the guests): Mr high-grade stationery carry them. ij Parvenu, you will please take Miss : , 2 F se H(A Gumwell out to dinner. When you think of Writing think of Whiting iii Parvese: Eht Why I thought you were havin’ the dinner here in th: i house —Boston Transcript. | Fixed “Has Dinny got a stiddy job yit, Mrs. yp 1 Mulcahey?” asked Mrs. Branni WHITING PAPER COMPANY “He was that" said Mra. } NEW YORK PHILADELPHIA cutcaco “They've sint him to the pinitinc for twenty years."—Harper's W Make This Year Brighter. Send 25 cents for simple bottle Caron Bittes Money back if ngt pleased an! satisied, Oct. C. Blache & Co., 78 Broad St. New York, Gen'tD