Life, 1912-03-07 · page 36 of 60
Life — March 7, 1912 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"Up-to-Date Farming"** is a humorous poem satirizing early automotive enthusiasm. It depicts a miraculous farm automobile that performs all agricultural and domestic tasks—milking cows, plowing, threshing, churning butter—while the farmer relaxes reading by electric light. The joke critiques utopian faith in technology's labor-saving promises, suggesting such machines were fantasy rather than practical reality in the era when automobiles were still novelties. **"A Matrimonial Plea"** presents a classroom anecdote mocking a student's incomplete knowledge of Patrick Henry. The child recalls Henry was "married and said 'Give me liberty or give me death'"—confusing his revolutionary patriotism with marital complaint. The humor lies in the absurd juxtaposition, implying marriage makes liberty seem as desirable as death. The page is primarily **advertisements** for Arrow Shirts and Cascade Whisky, with light satirical content typical of Life magazine's format mixing commentary with commercial messaging.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AMT CIS Up-to-Date Farming ‘The auto on the farm arose Before the dawn at four: It milked the cows and clothes, And finished every chore. washed the Then forth it went into the field Just at the break of day, It reaped and thrashed the golden yield And hauled it all away. It plowed the field that afternoon, And when the job was through It hummed a pleasant little tune And churned the butter, too. For while the farmer, peaceful eyed, Read by the tungsten’s glow, The patient auto stood outside And ran the dynamo. —Peoria Transcript. Their Busy Days At the masthead of the Jones County Times—" Is every Friday."—Chicago Tribune. “why pip you roRcer sued Tuesday and ed every Thunday, simultaneously in the Unite 10 a year in adrance. Additional postage to fored uv $2 cents. Single current copies, 10 cents, 2S cen. No contribution rcill be returned w respinslole for the kus or mansreturn of Live is for sale by all Newseaters YOUR SHOFS THIS MORNING, “JUST COMPLETE ABSENCE OF MIND, 1 Bs Gustavo Modena, Milang Mayence, Gerz The text and Ullsraion tm LAV are oyrichied Scuthampton Rows, Linden, Prompt mstifcation should be sent by subscribers of any change ff addr Celestial Ingenuity “I hope our dear old Dr. Wu Ting fang is on the right side in these Chi- nese troubles,” said a diplomat at a dinner in Washington. “Dr. Wu, continued, “used to tell me many illu. minating anecdotes about the Chinese character, I remember one about genuity. “A Chinaman, the anecdote ran, found his wife lying dead in a field one morning; a tiger had killed her. The Chinaman went home, procured some arsenic, and, returning to the field, sprinkled it over the corpse. The nex: day the tiger's dead body lay beside the woman's, The Chinaman sold the tiger's skin to a mandarin, and its body to a nhysician to. make fear-cure powders, and with the proceeds he was able to buy a younger wif York Tribune. in- New A Matrimonial Plea Teacner: tick Henry wa «l what did he do? Jouxsy: Patrick Henry was a young man and he lived in Virginia. He had blue eyes and light hair, He was mar- ried and he said, “Give me libe give me deat National Monthly Johnny, tell me who Pat- 10 PUT ON monatio? Urentanos’s, 37 Ave. de Opera, Par ++ Londons also at Saartache 148 Rue du Faubourg, St. Deas, Pansy L Va For Reprint Rights tm Great Britain apeiy ts Lave, 14 ARROW SHIRTS HE Arrow label marks the shirt of style and service. It is your guarantee that the gar- ment is made of durable, fadeless fabrics. We depend upon its good qualities to sell you another shirt of the same label. $1.50 and 82.00 Arrow Shirts ure mado by the makers of ARROW COLLARS CLUETT, PEABODY & CO. Send for booklets. 453 River St. Troy, N.Y. PURE WHISKY is the product of careful grain selection, scientific distilling, perfect purification and honest aging. Original bottling has old gold label GEO. A. DICKEL & CO, Distillers Nashville, Tenn, icbooks.com