Life, 1912-03-07 · page 23 of 60
Life — March 7, 1912 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is political satire about the 1912 presidential race. The "Washington Letter" mockingly describes an absurdly convoluted scenario where multiple prominent figures—Theodore Roosevelt, William Howard Taft, Woodrow Wilson, and various other political leaders—engage in circular maneuvering and backstabbing to determine the Republican nomination. The joke: the text satirizes how complicated and self-serving American politics had become, with powerful men constantly jockeying for position through elaborate schemes. References include Roosevelt going "back to Africa" (his famous 1909-1910 safari), Taft's editorial ambitions, and various senators and industrialists (Carnegie, Morgan, Pinchot) pulling strings behind scenes. The accompanying cartoons underscore this chaos: one shows a woman (Mrs. Owl) criticizing men's focus on superficial beauty over wisdom—a comment on politicians' shallow concerns. The lower cartoon labeled "OUT OF PRINT" depicts a woman tangled in a snake, suggesting political entanglement.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Our Washington Letter ASHINGTON, March 4, 1912. he po- litical situation here, after undergoing a number of annoying difficulties, has now be- come entirely clarified and crystallized, A con- ference has just been held between Colonel Taft and Colonel Roosevelt, in which it was decided that Colonel Roosevelt will go back to Africa, leaving Colonel Taft free to accept an editorial position on the Outlook. s this was announced, Colonel Wilson consulted Colonel Watterson, and it was agreed that Colonel Wilson should disguise him- self as Tilden and then withdraw in favor of Colonel Harvey. But as Colonel Harvey, for certain dignified reasons, is known not to be a can- didate, this will leave the matter still open, In the meantime, Colonel La Follette will continue to pro- gress along a given line to a given point. Here the Solid South is expected to rise up cn masse and nullify the pro- gramme in accordance with the arrangements, and thus every- body will be excused from blame. Colonel Hitchcock will then open up negotiations with the express companies to get OUT OF PRINT THAT POINT OF VIEW Mrs. Owl: THER! BOAST OF OUR CIVILIZATION UNTIL EAD OF MERE BEAUTY. WISDOM IN. them to cease their opposition to the parcel post. As the express companies will much prefer the Panama Canal, Colonel Taft will be justified in speaking right sharply to Colonel Hitchcock. This will throw the whole thing open to a dark horse. At the proper mo- ment Colonel Morgan will return from wherever he happens to be and ex- sa preference for some one. This |, of course, be taken to mean that he wants some one else. All hands will then take up the search, and it is not unlikely that Colonel Parkhurst will write something about it Colonel Carnegie will then mobilize himself and transfer his peace activi- ties to Lawrence, Mass., which will leave Congress free to continue its in- S ONF. THING CERTAIN, WE CAN NEVER MEN LEARN TO ADMIRE vestigations along all conceivable lines. If Congress finds out anything, it is the plan to let the newspapers know at once and, upon the basis of this, Colonel Harmon will disguise himself as a radical and, in the dead of night, call upon Colonel Bryan. Colonel Bryan will scrutinize his credentials carefully and then consult the Chau- tauqua Circle, which will give its con- sent. Just in the nick of time, how- ever, Colonel Harmon's disguise will be discovered and some one will tele- graph to Col. Charles P. Taft to re- turn from Alaska. The plan is then to have this message intercepted by Colonel Pinchot. This will bring the whole trouble to a head and, when the proper time comes, some one will be nominated on each ticket. E. O. J. comicbooks.com