Life, 1912-03-07 · page 10 of 60
Life — March 7, 1912 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and editorial content** rather than political satire. The left side features: - A **Wetzel company advertisement** for sporting clothes and tailors (New York-based, established 1874) - A section titled "Some Famous Epitaphs" — **humorous mock gravestone inscriptions** for historical and literary figures like Foote (comedian), a suicide victim, and Lady O'Looney. These are witty, darkly comic verses playing on each person's notable characteristics or fate. The right side contains advertisements for the **Sturlevant Portable Ventilating Set** (promoting fresh air in smoking rooms) and **Cortes Cigars**. The epitaphs section represents typical early 20th-century *Life* magazine humor: clever wordplay on death, vice, and human folly aimed at educated readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Mertzel Est. 1874—Inc. 1910 THE WETZEL BUILDING 2and 4 East Forty-Fourth Street NEW YORK SPORTING and MUFTI TAILORS BREECHES MAKERS “Throw-on"' overcoats ready for town or country service—in the Wetzel Sporting Department. ‘OR the convenience of patrons, experienced representatives of this house Tegularly attend at Phila- delphia, Pittsburg, Wash- ington, Baltimore, Buffalo, Chicago, Cleveland and St. Louis. Fabrics and mod- els are shown. Itinerary forwarded upon request. Some Famous’ Epitaphs On Foote, the comedian: Foote from his earthly stage, alas! is hurled. Death took him off who'd taken off a world. Two epitaphs by Burns. Stop thief! Dame Nature cried to Death As Willie drew his latest breath. You have my choicest morsel ta’en, How shall I make a fool again? Pa mem BE ISN Pasa Aer nn joras 8 Loves On a suicide: Earthed up here lies an imp of hell, Planted by Satan's dibble. Poor silly wretch, he damned himself To save the Lord the trouble. From a grave in Langston, England: Life's like an inn where travelers stay, Some only breakfast and away, Others to dinner stay and are full fed, The oldest only sup and go to bed. Long is his bill who lingers out the day, Who goes the soonest has the least to pay. On a certain lady: Beneath this stone, a lump of clay, Lies Isabella Young. Who, on the twenty-fourth of May, Began to hold her tongue. On Lady O'Looney: Here lies the body of Lady O'Looney, great niece of Burke, commonly called the sublime. She was bland, passionate and deeply religious; also she painted in water colors and sent several pictures to the exhibition, She was first cousin to Lady Jones; and of such is the King- dom of Heaven, On another lady: She lived a life of virtue and died of the cholera morbus caused by eating green fruit, in the hope of a glerious mortality, at the early age of twenty- four, Reader, go thou and do likewise. On a watchmaker: Here lies, in a horizontal position, The outside case of Peter Pendulum, watchmaker, Whose abilities in that line were an honor To his profession, 48 It Brings Pure Air Where the srkel is Thick You know the usual club smoking room—full of hot; erpure air and stale smoke, Puta Siarievani Portable Ventilating Se draught or chill. The great- est device ever invented for health and comfort in clu) smoking rooms. ‘Theatres, Ladges and Basements, Small Manufacturing Rooms, ctc. Can be run from any electric light socket, Pris unit complete, Including fan, motor, and electie od and plug all ready to run, $85 up, according tosize For full particulars send for Booklet L$ B. F. STURTEVANT CO. Hroe Pans, Mas NewYork, Philadelphta, Chicago, Cincinnati, Pitsbes| Washington, Doston, iaoef te Fa land. Roches, St. Louls, Buffalo, Hartfor isco, Atlas ttle, Toronto, Mont ssuchlnas tiny bo petchased et seta Western Eleckrie Company Manufacturers of the $000,000 Bell" Telephon New ork JadiaeSpotia fees Richmond Tere Ponsee 7 Monweal Portland Vancouver Milwaukee FOR _g MEN “MADE AT KEY IGARS comicbooks.com