Life — February 8, 1912 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Tale of Letters ich letters are the hardest workers? The Bees (B's). Which are the most extensive letters? The Seas (C's). Which letters are the most fond of Why He Asked They were on their wedding tour, and imagined that every civility given them related to their new condition of servi- tude: Having stopped off at a way station, the bridegroom was approached by the station nt, who asked: “ you going to take the next tra “It’s none of your business,” retorted the bridegroom, indignantly, as he guided the bride up the platform, where they condoled with each other over the impertinence of some of the natives. Onward came the train, its vapor curling from afar, It was the last to their destination that day —an express. Nearer and nearer it came at full speed—then in a moment it whizzed past and was “Why in thunder didn’t that train stop!” yelied the bridegroom. “Cos you said ‘twarn’t none of my bizness. I has to signal if that train's to stop.” —The Telegrapher. Something That Was Worse A friend once wrote Mark Twain a letter s: that he was in very bad health, and concludin: “Is there anything worse than having toothache and earache at the same time? wain wrote back: “ Yes, rheumatism and Saint Vitus's dance."—Ladies’ Home Journal. THREY OF A KIND BEATS A PALK Motto for Stupid Dinner Guests It is a long time between thinks. —Woman’s Home Companion Tite course of true peace never did run smooth Canada and British rt? The Ease (E's). Which letters have the most to sa themselves? The I's. Which are the noisest letters? Jays (J's). Which are the longest letters? The Ells (L's). Which are the poorest letters? The Owes (O's). Which letters are the greatest bores? The Tease (T's). Which are the most sensible letters? The Wise (Y's) —Tit-Bits. Art and Science “What a beautiful picture of an angel!” said the Judy who was visiting the art galler} “Yes,” replied the aviation enthusiast; “ but be- tween you and me, those wings aren't practica —Washington Star. Kate Dovetas Wiccan was asked recently how she stood on the vote for women question, She re- plied she didn’t “stand at all,” and told a story about a New England farmer’s wife who had no very romantic ideas about the opposite sex, and who, hurrying from churn to sink, from sink to shed, and back to the kitchen stove, was asked if she wanted to vote. “No, I certainly don't! I say if there's one little thing that the men folks can do alone, for goodness sakes let ’em do it!" she re- plied. Argonaut. land, AGENTS. Rrentanos's, 37 Ave. de Opera, Paris: also at Saartac al Union, $1.08 Ni es. 21 Biride Lane, Fleet St. F.C. londoa; 148 Ree da Faubour, St: Denis: Pars; 1 Vn htce months from Gustavo Modena, Milan; Mayence, Germany. be sent by subseribert of any chance of addretn, ‘The International News Company, Breams J Prompt mutiseation Kell pringfield Automobile | | Tires You have known the name, Kelly- Springfield, since 1895. If the tires weren't good you’d never see the name today. KELLY-SPRINGFIELD TIRE CO. 20 Vesey Street, New York Branch oMees in New York, Chicago, Phitadetphia. Boston, St. Louls, Detroit, Cincinnati, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Cleveland, Atlanta, and Akroa, Ohio, Beneca Rubber Co., Buflalo, Rubber Co., Denver, Col Egyptian Cigarette Ff Quality AROMATIC DELICACY MILDNESS PURITY ™~ At your club or dealer's THE SURBRUG CO., Makers, New York comicbooks.com