Life, 1912-02-08 · page 14 of 44
Life — February 8, 1912 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct sections: **Top article** critiques George Woodward Wickersham (a real political figure) for claiming ignorance about the country he serves, labeling such "dense ignorance" as dangerous. **Middle section** titled "One-Idealed Persons and the Army" discusses military readiness, arguing that alcohol is blamed for soldiers' problems rather than addressing actual issues like poor horse conditions and race track betting. **Bottom cartoon** shows a woman at what appears to be a "Space Toilet" advertisement, with the caption mocking "unprotected females" in town. This likely satirizes both commercialism exploiting women's anxieties and inadequate public facilities. **Right section** "Bridge Maxims" offers satirical aphorisms about bridge card-playing, treating the game as a serious moral endeavor where honor and financial consequences intersect. The overall tone is satirical social and political commentary typical of *Life* magazine's era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
298 -LIFE- Mr. George Woodward Wickersham N an article on Mr. George Woodward Wickersham in the Metropolitan Magazine, we read: “It is a settled and eventful fact that he is densely ignorant about the country and the people he serves.” Lire is unable to give the dimensions of whatever mis- takes the Metropolitan Magazine has made heretofore, but it never made one longer, wider and more comprehensive than that above quoted. Mr. Wickersham'’s “dense ignorance” is first cousin to the whiskey that Abraham Lincoln so ear- nestly desired for his generals. The more we can get of it the better for the country. And Lire has noticed with considerable interest that those patriots who are most vehement in their denuncia- tions of Mr. Wickersham are often citizens who may have something to conceal, and whose pockets are being threat- ened. 'Tis an effective and beneficent ignorance. The more of it the better. One-Ideaed Persons and the Army NTIL the peace treaties get into good working order, it seems only wise that, if we are going to maintain ny army at all, it should be a good one. We know what the W. C. T. U. and their allies, with, the one idea that Alcohol, with a big A, is the cause of all evil, have done to the morals and health of the private soldier, Their work was accomplished by bulldozing timid Congressmen into voting for the abolition of the canteen. Now General Wood tells us that the American cavalry is becoming a useless arm of the service through the in- fluence of persons with the one idea that betting on a horse race is sinful. They have been able to bulldoze the timid legislators in New York State into the destruction of rac- ing and the consequent deterioration of the American horse. Owners of the best horses in America have shipped “LUCY JONES, THIS IS NO TOWN FOR UNPROTECTED FEMALES!” “ PORDY, YOU WERE VERY NAUGHTY TO GO ON THE ICE WHEN I TOLD YoU NoT To.” “WELL, M-MOTHER, I DIDN’T GO TO SLIDE. 1 J-JUST WENT TO FIND OUT WH-WHY YOU TOLD ME NOT 70.” them to Europe, where one-ideaed minorities do not govern. The logical conclusion scems to be a paraphrase of the old proverb, making it read that in America the one-ideaed man is king. Bridge Maxims ° A GOOD partner is rather to be 4 chosen than great hands. Jack of all suits is master of none. A fool and his aces are soon parted. It's a long suit that has no returning. Take care of the trumps and the tricks will take care of themselves, Money makes the game go. A little ten-ace is a dangerous thing. Bridge-table conversations corrupt good manners. A woman is known by the trumps she keeps. The wages of Bridge is Debt. The proof of the bidding is in the beating. An honor is not without profit, save in the dummy.