Life, 1912-02-01 · page 16 of 48
Life — February 1, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is political satire personifying Cupid (the Roman god of love) as a presidential candidate conducting a campaign tour. The joke mocks how candidates travel the country making speeches to regain public attention—Cupid claims he's been forgotten and needs to prove he's "still doing business." The satire works on multiple levels: Cupid's complaints (that newspapers ignore him, that Reno "crowds him out," that his babies aren't as fine) are absurd metaphors for lost political relevance. His defensive speech—insisting he plays fair and that people shouldn't blame him for their troubles—parodies typical campaign rhetoric deflecting criticism. The accompanying section "Life's Presidential Candidates" sarcastically nominates J.P. Morgan (the famous banker) for president in 1912, arguing the country needs more "art in all lines of legal and political procedure." Together, these pieces mock both the absurdity of constant campaigning and the idea that wealthy businessmen make suitable presidential candidates.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
252 -LIFE- Cupid’s Great Stumping Tour Greeted with Great Throngs All Along the Line— Much Encouraged UPID spoke in Syracuse last night to an immense crowd of mixed people. His remarks were greeted with greac enthusiasm. He will go direct to Chicago, and from thence will swing around the circle, taking in the Western cities and California, coming back by way of New Orleans. “People thought I was a dead issue,” he said to our representative, just before he ascended the platform. “ Does this look like it?” In answer to the ques- tion, “ What made you think of taking — this tour?” he said: “Why, it seemed the obvious thing to do. It is a common practice with all Presidential candidates, and the American people expect it. It is the only way to reach the people direct. You see the papers never mention me any more, except in a_ slighting manner. Everybody be- gan to have the idea that I had quit, or was a joke. This tour of mine, however, disproves this. It shows that the papers do not begin to reflect public opinion.” On the platform with Cupid were a large num- ber of the most distin- guished citizens, and when he rose to speak he was greeted with a tremendous ovation. Women held up their babies in their arms. Young men who had been spending most of their fime watching base- ball games were there in great numbers, with their best girls. In fact, no human element was missing. It was the most mixed crowd ever gathered together. Cupid said in part: “My frends, I am here to-day for a purpose, and I assure you that it isn’t to advertise myself. (Cries of “No, no, you don’t have to!”) I have come to make a friendly visit, and to tell you that, in spite of all reports to the contrary, I am still doing business at the same old stand. (Cries of “ You bet you are!”) Now, there’s Reno; they say that Reno has been crowding me out. Why, Reno is only a little diversion of mine; I keep it for all my bad little boys and girls. (Cries of “Serve them right!”) “OWEY THAT IMPULSE!" And they say that my crop of babies isn’t so fine as it used to be. Well, did you ever see any finer specimens than are here to-night? Look at ’em! (Great applause!) The fact is, my friends, that it isn’t the things you see always that are true; it’s the quiet things that people are doing all the time that don’t get into the papers which really count. Why, think of it! The moment I got up here to-day every man, woman and child in this audience knew me at once. I don’t have to be introduced. (Cries of “ Hear! Hear!”) It has been a common report against me that I have played some mean tricks; that I haven’t been fair and square. You know it is not so. (Loud laughter.) You know that I have always been on the level. If you have suffered, hasn’t ‘it always been your fault? (“That's right!” from a small man in a corner.) I believe in a square deal, and if you play fair with me, I'll play fair with you—isn’t that so? I see a lot of married men in this audience. Now, don't blame me for your trou- bles—you’ve brought them all on yourselves.” (Groans.) At the conclusion of the address, Cupid was given an ovation and a banquet in his honor in the town hall, The West is greatly excited over his ap- proach. Vast crowds of people are waiting at each railroad station all along the line. Life’s Presidential Candidates W* beg leave to pre- sent the name of Mr, J. P. Morgan for the Presidency in 1912. This coun- try to-day stands in need of more art in all lines of legal and political procedure. There are many good business men without art, and there are many art patrons who pos- sess no business ability, no accumulation acumen. Mr. Morgan happily combines these two in admirable propor- tion. Backed by the combined art and business vote, he would probably receive the largest majority of any- one since Washington. Furthermore, he is entitled to this honor at the hands of the American electorate. No man has saved the country so often as he. If he would only take it, and underwrite the Presi- dency, the country would never again’ be in dan- ger. O tempora! O Morgan!