Life — January 18, 1912 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The worm-caten chestnut of all “ proverbs” is—well, you know what it is—" Unlucky at cards, lucky at love.” If your bridge partner is a bit flirty she always goo-goos at you and springs it. Then she leads you away to a secluded spot. You know. Tommy Treathinger was the only one we ever knew to beat this game, and that was an accident. Here was the way of it: “Are you very lucky at cards?” asked the woman, “Very,” win.” “How about love?” she continued, looking arch and kittenish. “Lucky again,” plunged Tommy—“ I always lose."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. said Tommy. “I always Modern Education Knicker: Is Jones well educated? Bocker: He can read a speedometer and write a check—Evening Sun. “Sur accepted me on one condition.” “And that is?” “That she doesn’t get a better offer between now and spring.” —Lonisville Courier-Journal. Can't Be Too Careful “1 want,” explained the advertising man—"I want a picture that has the idea of speed in it—real speed. I want it to go at a regular marathon, But it’s got to be new.” “Yes, I see,” said the artist, pick up a pencil. “How about Mercury? Something like this.” He sketched rapidly the figure of the messenger of Olympus, winged sandals, winged cap, symbolic staff and all. The advertising man looked it over approv- ingly. “Seems all right,” he commented “But what does it mean? Who's Mer- cury?” “Oh, Mercury? He was the speediest thing that ever lived,” the artist de- clared. “ Mercury was the god of speed, you know.” But the advertising manager gave one long regretful look at the sketch and shook his head. “Too bad,” he murmured sadly. “ Too bad; I like its looks, but it won't do. It won't do, young man. We can’t get mixed up with any one’s religion like that."—Philadelphia Ledger. Greenness Accounted For Marx: That new member seems pretty green for a man who clai to be a college graduate. Parks: Probably it was an agricul- tural college.—Boston Transcript. SENSATICNS OF A YOUNG MAN ADOUT TO PROPOSE poblished every Thursday, simultsreously ia the United States, Great Britain, Canada and Britsh Chancery London, E.C., England, AGENTS, Brentano's, 37 Are. de "Opera, P: $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries ia t= Poval Union. $1.04 News Excaanges. 21 Bride Lane, Fleet St. EC. Londons 148 Rac da Faubourg, Su Desin, Pass a years to Canada, $2 cents. Single current copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, atte toree montas from 1, Via Gustaro Modena, Milany Mayence, Germany. date of pabiication, 25 cents, he he i n 1 Ii cantribaton a be eurnnd unten arcempanied by amped and addremedenvaoe, Lie ont wat ld ily gy Ai et and ilnraioy ip LAE are cried, For Rerint Riche im Groat Brin ary lara If eassmitble for the tet ar nen-recarn of nirioutiens, Live is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Briain, The International News Comeany, Bream Da! Prompt nusifcasien sheald be sent by subscribers of any change of addresn. PARIS GARTERS NoMetal CanTouchYou TAILORED TO FIT THE LEG The name PARIS:on every garter for your.protection. A,STEIN &CO.MAKERS-CHICACO,USA er KeeEEG, The only power ait pumpthatisrecom- mended and furnished as ae reailion equipment by any of the lead- ing automcbile manufacturers. @ Merely connect the hose to your tire —and throw a lever. Gear driven— no friction wheel to slip: no spark plug to remove, So constructed that it cannot possibly pump oil into the tire to damage the tubber: and will inflate any tire to the desired pressure in less than three minutes, Positively guaranteed for one year. For complete information, send us the name of your car. KELLOGG MANUFACTURING CO. 15 CIRCLE STREET :: ROCHESTER, N. Y. 178 Two of the many new and beautiful devo for Studs, Vest Buttcns and Cuff Li gold and platinum mounted and of the foot workrranship—some set with precious stones | —made by the largest house manufacturing fne jewelry in the world. Krementz Bodkin-Clutch Studs and Vest Buttons appeal to fastidious dressers as the mot perfect for wear with stiff boron shirts. Th 40 in like a needle and hold like an anchot: ted ere absolutely free from bother of any Ask to sce them at any of the leading jewelers. It your jeweler does not keep them write for at of jeweler who does, Booklet on request. KREMENTZ & CO. 60 Chestnut Street, Newark, N. J. comicbooks.com