Life, 1912-01-18 · page 10 of 44
Life — January 18, 1912 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct satirical pieces: **"Prepared"** (top): A speaker at a podium argues for war as the natural, inevitable path, dismissing peace as failed and impractical. The accompanying illustrations mock this militarism—showing a scarecrow-like military figure and a domestic scene where a mother wishes her son would "make horrid kiss Aunt Susan too. He's always sneakin' out o' things," suggesting war propaganda infiltrates everyday life and corrupts values. **"Highbrow"** (bottom): A brief satire raising the slang ban on "highbrow." The text mocks intellectuals who parade their intelligence and patronize others. The piece suggests this word describes pretentious people who claim superiority, urging dictionaries to accept it. Both pieces critique American society—one attacking pro-war rhetoric, the other skewering intellectual pretension.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘LIFE: Prepared F ELLOW warriors: We stand at the part- ing of the ways. To the right extends the broad and popular thoroughfare to war; to the left rises the precipitous and untried pathway to peace. Which way shall we turn —to the right or to the left? (Cheers and cries of “right! right!”) Right you are. I am proud to stand on this platform as the regular war candidate of this campaign, and if elected I pledge myself to fight tooth and nail to spread the gospel of eternal strife. (Applause.) Now they tell us, my friends, that peace is a good thing. How do they know? Has anyone ever got near enough to peace to recognize its good points? We know what war is, so why not let well enough alone? War is natural and é productive. Peace is unnatural and destructive. Has peace ever produced a Napoleon or a Gettysburg or even one pension bill? (Cries of “no! no!”) Wherever peace has been tried for a short time it has been a dismal and disheartening failure. Gun stocks have depreciated and appropriations have gone up. Joint high commissions are a new thing. They have never been thoroughly tested. They are complicated machines and difficult to handle. They often miss fire, frequently wound the enemy without killing him, and are not nearly so re- THE UNDER DOG liable and effective as a well placed mine. The envoy of peace is hovering ominously over the country. Listen and you can hear the flapping of its wings. It has already damaged some of our magazines and is now patrolling the coast, dropping arbitration bombs on one or two unforti- fied spots. One powerful treaty has reached Washington. Others are on the way, but the country is safe, for, thank God, we are armed to the teeth! W. F.R. Highbrow HE slang ban on “highbrow” is hereby raised. No longer will it be left to languish in the lower limbo of language. It is a perfectly good and expressive word. It graphically denotes that amusing class in the community who are not content to be merely and modestly intellectual, but who in addition make a great parade of their intellect- uality, who must be imposing, patronizing and pompous. The Highbrow is the professional intellectual. Open, ye dictionary sesames, and receive the newcomer! comicbooks.com