Life, 1912-01-11 · page 26 of 40
Life — January 11, 1912 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical short story from *Life* magazine about a newlywed couple where the husband appears to be in poor health. The joke centers on Petrey, a man courting Bessie, who marries someone else—a sickly older gentleman. Petrey expects the husband to die soon so he can marry Bessie. However, the story subverts this expectation: Bessie's husband remains alive (the "cold coming on" doesn't kill him), and worse for Petrey, Bessie now seems obligated to keep him alive and healthy. The satire mocks the romantic assumption that obstacles conveniently disappear, as well as Petrey's transparent selfishness masked as concern. The calendar illustration represents "weeks passing by"—time dragging for the impatient suitor. The humor relies on the husband's unexpected durability and Petrey's dawning realization that his scheme has backfired.
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nothing mean about me,” said the happy bridegroom. The bride pressed his hand mean- ingly. “We may be back any time,” she whispered. “He insists upon going to Niagara and he’s already got a hard cold coming on.” Petrey was buoyed up by this, For some days he looked for a telegram any minute. But none came, In a month they were back. “You're looking remarkably well,” said Petrey, anxiously, to the bride- groom, the next day when they met. “Yes, that trip did me a world of good—— Oh! pardon me,” said the old gentleman, “I only mean that as a joke. Of course,” he continued, “I ex- Married life al- But that’s Don’t pected to feel better. ways sets a man up a bit. allowed for in the estimate. worry! It will be all right!” “He's a perfect dear!” said Bessie later, when Petrey called formally. “And such a generous soul! He in- sists upon my having everything I want.” “Won't it be lovely,” said Petrey, who was dreaming his dreams in ad- vance, “next year when we can go abroad?” “Yes—won't it? till, I suppose we'd better wait a year after that. You see Ill be in mourning.” “Oh! So you will, got that.” Thus the weeks passed by. For Pet- rey, indeed, they dragged. Every few days he called—quite formally, of course. As for Bessie, he noticed gradually a change in her. She was growing more solemn. I'd quite for- “They started off on their honeymoon” “He's a lovely companion,” she said, one night. “So thoughtful! And I never saw anyone so cheerful.” “But he’s growing more feeble all the time, isn’t he?” said Petrey, who had just been reading a long article to the effect that if a man kept cheerful and didn’t worry nothing could kill him, “T'm afraid he is! Oh, would you mind, dear,” she said impulsively, “if he lived a little longer? I’m trying my best to prolong his life. But you know it has bothered me a little, because, somehow, I wasn’t true—to you!” But Petrey, who thoroughly appre- ciated her conscientious character, wasn't going to be outdone in gener- “My dear girl,” he said, outwardly, concealing his chagrin, “don't allow yourself any foolish qualms like that. Of course,” he added hastily, not wish- ing to have her feel that his love for her was growing cold, “every day, every hour, nay, every minute over time will add to my misery, But I realize on the other hand that I must be generous. Nurse him up, by all means. Convey to him in some deli- cate, tactful way that even if he does live a few weeks beyond the appointed time, no word of reproach will come from me. I shall not hold it up against him!” “That certainly is lovely of you,” replied Bessie, gratefully. “What do (Concluded on page 145) | FU W WED THU [FRI SUN | MON “Thus the weeks passed by”