Life — December 7, 1911 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1000 Robinson Crusoe Up to Date WAS minded: some weeks before- hand that Christmas was coming and it thereafter became a great and anxious problem with me how to keep this from my man Friday. He had, up to then, been very do- cile and obedient, but I feared mighti- ly the spread of the Christmas spirit, and I set about circumventing it. For one thing, I took all the papers and magazines that were coming, and, scanning them closely (at much in- convenience), I carefully cut out everything I thought might give him an inkling of the truth, Yet in spite of my utmost vigilance. he came running to me on a Satur- day, waving in his hands a paper, which contained the phrase, “Do your Christmas shopping earl. “And, master,” said he,“ what might that be?” And looking at me with suspicion, he continued: “ Early, for what?” “That relates to the poor people,” I replied gently, “who for some un- known reason have habit at_ this time of year of crowding the shops so that the rich have no chance. Run along now and get that electric fan fixed. . It's going to be a warm night.” We had just) put. the finishing touches to our new bungalow, and both Friday and I had been working pretty hard, owing to the fact that it was one of those affairs that we had to put together according to. direc- “you SELFISH MAN! DON'T HOLD THE UMBRELLA OVER ME. YOU ARE GETTING ALL THE Wer.” THEY MEET AT LAST tions, and I had given Friday leave to rest up for a few days. This I discovered was a bad thing, for the next morning he came ‘running again to me, exclaiming: “Oh, master, there’s something do- ing! I don’t know what it is, but I feel myself wanting to spend money and to make gifts to my friends and to go out on a grand jamboree. Let's send a wireless to the nearest island and get them all to come over and take dinner. And I would fain have you present me with a sum of money just to show that you are afraid of me. And I have conceived of a noble way to bring this about. -T will hang up my pajamas at night and do you steal in while I am asleep and fill them with delectable things and: m I then knew that we were in the telepathy belt. and that poor Friday was a victim. There was nothing to be done but see the thing through, and I determined to do this in as thorough a manner as possible. “ Christmas is coming, you wretch!” I exclaimed, “and we will celebr: since you wish it.” I thereupon sent him out to the end of the island to fell a Christmas tree nine feet high and made him drag it back and trim it. Then T sent out an invitation to all the neighboring tribes for miles around, They came, bag and baggage, and quartered themselves upon us. Friday had naught to do for two days but make mince pies and prepare for the celebration. 1 ex- plained to him the modus operandi of the whole affair and we set to with a will making presents for all; besides this, I made him put up a chimney of new and approved design. By this time poor Friday, on his knees, tried to beg off, but I held him sternly to his task. “TL came here,” I said, “to escape just this sort of thing, but now t you have insisted upon it, I am going to give you all you want. Come now, there is no rest. Fill those cornuco- pias, and go out and pick cnough cot- ton to make yourself Santa Claus whiskers.” The morning after the whole af- fair was over I went out and aroused him as he lay sleeping in the sun, t up.” [ said, kicking - him, “and tell me how you like it.” And with this he looked at me piteously and replied: “Master, I have had enough. If you ever notice me getting the Christ- mas spirit again, take me down to the water and tether me to a coral reef, I don’t expect to get over this for six months.” “That's about the usual time,” I said, as 1 went speedily back to the bun w to make a list of all the things I got and didn’t want. comicbooks' onl