Life, 1911-12-07 · page 105 of 112
Life — December 7, 1911 — page 105: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces. The main story, "A Conservative," is a humorous anecdote mocking rigid traditionalism. A German-American farmer insists his son Johannes continue an outdated practice—balancing grain in a bag by placing a stone on the opposite end—despite Johannes inventing a more efficient method (dividing the grain equally). The joke satirizes stubborn adherence to "how we've always done it," with the father dismissing innovation as youthful foolishness. The humor targets inflexible conservatism: the father's authority rests entirely on ancestral precedent rather than practical reasoning. The dialect speech reinforces the stereotype of old-world immigrants resistant to American progress—a common theme in early 20th-century Life magazine satire. The punchline ridicules this mindset as fundamentally irrational.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Conservative In Pennsylvania, not many years ago, dwelt the descendants of an ancient Ger- man settler. The farm had descended for generations from father to son, and the original customs had been faithfully adhered to. But a youth was born to the family who had inspired some of the modern radical ideas and was likely to come into conflict with his father’s stolid conservatism. One day Johannes was told to saddle the horse d take the grist to the mill. It had been the practice from time im- memorial to place the grist in one end of the bag and a large stone in the other end to balance it, and so throw it across the horse’s back. But Johannes on the present occasion managed to get the grist divided between the two ends of the bag, so that there was no need of the stone. “Oh, daddy, come and see! There ain't no use for the stone The old gentleman calmly surveyed the device, and with a seve: proachful aspect remarked to his exult- ing soi “Johannes, your fader, your grand- fader and your great grandfader all went to de mill wid de stone in one end THE WAY TO THAT WINTER EDEN — CALIFORNIA CALFORNIA is truly a Garden of Eden! It beckons to you now—welcomes you to its flower-spangled gardens where the laughter of happy children, away from all thought of winter, mingles with the music of birds who have found their paradise. The oranges, the roses, the sunny beaches— And the way to get there is as pleasant a story as California itself. Take the de luxe Golden State Limited via Rock Island Lines — No Excess Fare — which leaves Chicago and St. Louis every evening by the direct route of lowest altitudes and within three de- lightfully memorable days lands you in Summerland! That journey !—a pleasant miracle of modern transit, with not a worth while thing missing. Whether in of de bag und de grist in de odder. % your wide comfortable berth, at the chef's snowy table, Und you, a mere poy, sets yourself up E f 5 in the observation car watching the splendid panorama, to know more as dey do. Yust put dat . We é, in the barber’s chair, or listening to the Victrola recitals, stone in de bag and never lets me hear "3 your one word of gratified verdict will be ‘'Perfect!'"" no more of such foolishness as dat.” \\ =) fast “C . —Half Hours with Humorous Authors => : Free eran Leet, Gaurnl ourisecleeps ing cars, every day from Chicago, Kansas City, St. Joseph, Oma phis, for the Pacific Coast. Beautiful free booklet sent on request. L. M, ALLEN Passenger Traffic Monager : Room 2/1 La Salle Station, Chicago. Prize? Pat. Nov. 14, 191 Ask your dealer to. show you this novel, inter esting and practical board. The B.G.B. Board For Card Players Sit comfortably, learn your leads and work outany card game problem. Convenient size, 11 x 9 inches open, Made of leather, with celluloid cards, B For sale by jewelers, sta » sporting IS) goods stores, department stores,etc. = Send Postal for Descriptive Matter ~~ H.W. Hague, 253 Broadway, N.Y. Established Reputation the opportunity was afforded. n sought out the sheriff Application for employment was re- cently ade to a Louisville business young man’s home county and man by a young chap from the mountain region of t te. The Louisville man was favorably impressed by the strange Do you know Bill Sparks hore, I know hi “What kind of a young man is he?” “Pretty fair.” Is he honest? “ Honest? ¢. Why, he’s been arrested three times for stealin’ and ac- or A the Di but as no references were offered, he he determined to hold the application in abeyance until he could personally look into. the young man’s antecedents, fee which he could do when next he visited Seas coe that part of the State whence the ap- ard ct the Brtge 1 & CO. 144 Pe plicant hailed. It was not long before quitted each ti —Green Bag. 1067 comicbooks.com