Life — November 9, 1911 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LIVE E Economizing—On a Margin R. MEREDITH OP- DYKE cast his eyes around his luxurious apartment and — then glanced furtively at his wife, sitting on the op- posite side of the reading table. “Ahem!” he began, ietting fall the newspaper and laying down his vigar —* Ahem!” Inquiringly, Mrs. Opdyke looked up from her boo! “I have just been thinking, my dear,” said Mr. Opdyke, in his strictly business voice, “that it will be neces- sary for us to economize.” At the word “ economize” Mrs. Op- dyke started. “Economize?” she repeated, vague- ly. “Oh, yes, to he sure! Yes, I think you're right, Meredith. Decidedly, we must economize.” This ready acquiescence rather took the wind out of Mr. Opdyke’s sails. “Where would you propose starting to economize?” continued his wife, after a moment's pause—“‘on your clubs? You might casily spare three or four of them——” “Nonsense!” broke in Mr. Opdyke, annoyed. “ You know that’s where [ do a great deal of business, at the club. They're secondary offices. I thought, now, on the household, perhaps——” “Now, Meredith,” iaterrupted his wif you know that’s ridiculous. You allow me only five hundred a month as it is, and it's simply out of the question to do with a cent less. I don’t really see, though, that it’s neces- sary for you to keep that shooting camp in the Adirondacks, I should think ae “Now, see here, Edith,” cried Mr. Opdyke, rising and beginning to walk up and down, “ your one idea is to cut down my pleasures. Besides, that’ sary to my health. How do you xpect me to work all the year round without some distraction? [consider the camp a good investment “Well, L only thought “That’s the way with women, al- ways wanting their husbands to do without things. If you were really in earnest about economizing you would cut down on some of your own ex- penses, like—like— ” “Well?” inquired Mrs. Opdyke, in a frozen voice. “Well, like bridge,” completed Mr. Opdyke, desperately Mrs. Opdyke broke into a silvery laugh. “Is that the best you can do, Mere- dith? Why, last month [ nearly paid the florist’s bill out of bridge. Now, if you had said ‘hats, or ‘ cabs," or * frocks’ I should have thought you a brute, but still in your right mind, but bridge—why, that’s one of my chief sources of income. “Well, I don't nt to be unreason- able,” said Mr. Opdyke, apologetically, “still, I think we ought to economize a general way.” ly dear, I quite agree with you.” replied Mrs. Opdyke—* in a general way. But you sec how it is, Take our houschold—we can't cut down on our style of living, can we ~ No-o, we can't do that.” “And you say you must have your clubs and y inch. amp and your racing * began Mr. Op- dyke, protesting “There, there! [ was only enumer- ating the absolutely necessary things. So you see, as you say, we shall just have to economize in a general way. On that point 1 think we are “Yes, on that point we are agreed.” repeated Mr. Opdyke—" in a general w ereed.” There seemed nothing further to be said, and they lapsed into silence. For a moment Mr. Opdyke made pretence of reading the newspaper. Leiting it fall, he met his wife's ey “Oh, by the way, my dear— “Yes, Meredith?” “T forgot to tell you that I boug! new touring car to-day.” “Oh! “Yes, a beauty it for some tine. small, you know— I've had my eye on The old car's so “And impossibly slow—only a 30- horsepower.” Precisely. So I thought we'd bet- ter have another one without any de- lay. And you, my dear, what have been doing with yourself all day?” “1? Oh, I’ve-been shopping afternoon. Hartwell & McEwen have just got in a stock of furs, so I bought myself a new coat—dirt cheap, too, only eighteen hundred. My old one’s quite out of style, you know. thought it would be home before this. Oh, there it is now! The electric bell had just sounded and eagerly Mrs, Opdyke hastened to the doorway to see whether the ex- pected coat had arrived, As she did so Mr. Opdyke leaned over and lit a fresh cigar. “Well,” he = murmured, between puffs, “I'm glad I cleaned up that twenty thousand in the Street to-day, anyhow.” William Wallace Whitelock. Asses in the Post-Office Department T is to congratulate Mr. Hitchcock on the reported reversal Of the decision of the Post-Office — Depart ment that the report of the Chicago Vice Commission is untit to pass through the We haven't seen the report, the distribution of which has been checked hy its exelusion from the mails, but the papers say that among the me: who ma nd signed it are President jarris Northwestern University, the Rev, Dr. Gunsaulus, Dean Sumner of the Cathedral of St. Peter in Chi- cago, Prof. Graham Taylor, Edwin T. Sims and John D. Rockefeller, Jr These names don’t sound very vicious. Most of them recall men well known by reputation, and of such character as to excite the more surprise at the action of Mr. Hitchcock's subordi- nates. Would they let the Bible go through their precious mails? There are some shocking vice stories in the Bible. It is well known that Mr. Hitch- cock is not an ass. But he must have egregious asses under him somewhere in the Department, and unless now and then he gives their tails a timely twist they will get him into trouble. comicbooks -cO