Life, 1911-11-02 · page 24 of 56
Life — November 2, 1911 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces: **"A Penitentiary for Guide-Shooters":** Commentary on hunting accidents where guides are mistakenly shot for deer. The satire proposes a mandatory national penitentiary for such negligent hunters—sarcastically treating accidental manslaughter as requiring formal institutional penance. **"Take Your Choice":** Political satire on Cardinal Gibbons's opposition to direct Senate election. Life presents his logical argument against trusting constituencies, then flips it—if constituencies can't be trusted, how can we trust legislators *they* elect? This exposes the circular illogic of his position on democratic reform. **"Democratized Fifth Avenue":** Social satire on wealthy New York homes losing their front steps (likely due to street construction). The piece mockingly notes this makes Fifth Avenue seem more "democratic" by removing class barriers, then absurdly compares this to society becoming more equal if everyone lost their noses—highlighting how artificial such leveling is. All three pieces use ironic argumentation to critique complacency, illogical opposition to reform, and false equality claims.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
tLiP Bs A Penitentiary for Guide-Shooters HIE disgusting annual record of guides shot in the woods by hunters who mistook them for deer is now accumulating in the daily papers. There ought to be a national penitentiary—a true one, designed for retirement and repentance—to which every hunter who shoots a guide should be invited to retire for six months. Take Your Choice ARDINAL GIBBONS opposes direct election of Sena- tors: “If you cannot trust the members of the Legis- lature,” he s how can you trust their constituencies from whom they spring? How, indeed! It is a poser, and we offer the question to all those who may wish to become rhetorical in opposi- tion to this measure. And for those who may wish to be- come rhetori in favor of it, we offer the following: If you cannot trust the constituencies from whom they spring, how can you trust the members of the Legislature? mOwaeneR SD WHITE WINGS OF THE FUTURE Democratized Fifth Avenue OMEHOW, the Fifth Avenue dwellings that I their front steps shorn away seem more democratic than they used to. Their hospitalities seem less formal and exclusive when you can step right into them from the sidewalk level. They are more like shops now, and the shops invite all comer If we all had our noses cut off, society would seem more democratic, because for a time there would be a feel- ing that one noseless man was as good as another. So it is, just for the moment, with the shorn-off Fifth Avenue houses. But they don’t look ill. Some look better than they did; some look worse. The worst loss is Mr. W. K. Vanderbilt's front steps, which it was a great pity to disturb, Dis-Bleased UCIL odd things happen! Governor Cole Blease, of South Carolina, one of the most abusive gentlemen in public life, is mad because a newspaper editor called him a comic opera vill It is to wonder that a man so nim- ble with his mouth as Governor Blease should object te Se een naan mild a comment as that. But after all, it is the abusive “For an instant she paused, then looking up, she saw men who object to having anything thrown at them, standing before her the man she loved” comicbooks.com