Life, 1911-10-05 · page 16 of 50
Life — October 5, 1911 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct satirical pieces: **"The Pessimists' Club"** (left): A humorous mock-serious article lampooning American pessimism and defeatism. The accompanying cartoons illustrate club members engaged in deliberately joyless activities. The satire mocks those who cultivate gloom as an identity, with rules prohibiting smiling, laughing (except derisively), or cheerfulness. It's a commentary on widespread cultural pessimism of the era. **"Aldrich and Bryan"** (right): Political satire targeting Senator Nelson Aldrich and William Jennings Bryan regarding currency reform debates. The piece sarcastically suggests their names are so politically toxic that their opposition to each other's proposals—despite potentially being right—makes their positions suspect to voters. The satire criticizes how partisan loyalty and personalities overshadow substantive policy discussion on monetary issues. Both pieces exemplify Life's acidic social and political commentary typical of early 20th-century American humor journalism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
564 -LIFE- been deed a melancholy fact that this club should have such an immediate success. For some time we have entertained doubts about the American peop ndidly and confidentially speaking, we have felt there was little hope for them. Everything looked dark. And yet there have been moments when we the that possibly we had exaggerated the dangers of the future. Now, however, we realize that our forebodings were correct; now that the Pessimists’ Club has met with su an overwhelming response, we sce no hope; all looks dark : no glimmer gilds the black horizon; the bells are tolling mournfully the infliction of another period of dishearten- ment. It should be borne in mind that we will refuse all ap- plications by old sports. The other day a decrepit old codger, with a dismal looking face, applied, and we con- gratulated ourselves that he would add something to our weight of No sooner had he gotten in, how- ever, before he began to be cheerful; we had to dismiss him. There is nothing so deceptive as an old. sport. Our valetudinarian’s corner is growing; it is rapidly getting to be one of the most dismal features of our jaun- diced club life. We advise all members to begin the by taking breakfast in the large breakfast room provided for that purpose; don't have your breakfast sent to your room; you'll feel much worse when you see all the sour faces around you. Members should remember that it is their duty to be pessimists: when we face our inevitable destiny, we all know that there is no hope for anyone. Let us therefore, with grim determination, admit the ful truth, And if at times we are tempted to throw off the dull weight of care, we must speedily reflect that this is but a IN 1920 “THEY'LL RE SWIPT STEEDS THAT FOLLOW,” Stn arts. LOCHINVAR MIS YEARS WERE GKOUNDLESS lying illusion, It is in this spirit that we must become members. If the waiters smile or look pleasant at you, please re- port to the management. Members are debarred from Saying good morning; Winking ; Laughing, except in a derisive m Slapping each other on the back; Shaking hands, except in case of a funeral in family; Or offering anything but a dismal lock to a member who may lapse into forgetfulness of our condition. Are you sad and melancholy? Do you have continu- ously dismal thoughts? Are you dejected, depressed, downcast, in the dumps, gloomy and ghastly? Come in at once and feel worse. Face your inevitable destiny and be a member of the Pessimists’ Cluhh. Aldrich and Bryan HE advocates of a currency reform which will auto- matically siphon the public funds into private treas- uries are so ungrateful to Senator Aldrich for his ag xressivencss in the matter as to wish that his name were definitely and forever separated from the idea. They feel that Aldrich’s name would hurt it even if it were a praise worthy proposition, Some such feeling took possession of the opponents of the scheme when Mr. Bryan recently came out against i Mr. Bryan's name is so indelibly linked with “divine ra tios,” “quantitative theories” and other ornate emotional- isms as to vitiate anything he may ever happen to say upon the money question. It would be nice if Mr. Aldrich and Mr. Bryan should go off somewhere and fight it out, fix it up to suit them- selves and apportion the offices and the spoils. If we were thus left alone, free from rhetoric, rapa- ciousness and rot, it wouldn't take us long to decide tc keep the public funds in the public treasury. To All American Voters OPEN your mouth and shut your cyes, We'll give you something that's three-fourths lics. AEF; comicbooks.com