Life, 1911-09-28 · page 15 of 42
Life — September 28, 1911 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces targeting early 1900s social issues: **"One More Panama Wonder"** praises Colonel Goethals's order forbidding canal bosses from swearing at subordinates. The piece argues swearing reflects lack of self-control and damages leadership—though it admits profanity might work on mules. It presents the Panama Canal as an exemplary achievement where things are "done as they should be." **"Trying and Doing"** is a dialogue between Braggs and Wages debating whether you can know your abilities before succeeding. It's philosophical wordplay mocking overconfidence—you only truly know what you've *already* accomplished, not what you *might* do. **"How to Be Rich"** offers absurdist financial advice: concentrate all assets in one place, then freeze them. Dark humor about wealth preservation or critique of hoarding. The illustration appears to show a donkey or mule (referencing the swearing article's mention of addressing animals). The "Horrors Upon Horrors" section satirizes crime reporting by diagramming a murder scene with absurd detail—mocking sensational journalism of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
— One More Panama Wonder OLONEL GOETHALS has ed an order that the canal bosses shall not use swear words when ad- dressing subordinates. It does not say how mules may be addressed, but as to the other subordi- nates the Colonel is right. None of us ought to swear at anybody, It 1 pleas- ant sometimes to loosen up one’s vo- cabulary of expletives, but it is very seldom profitable. It implies abandon- ment of self-control, and_ self-control is of the first importance in bossing men, Temper under restraint is power ‘Temper released in violent language is power misapplied. It not only dis- tracts and agitates the mind of the man who swears, but of the mei are sworn at. It is not sei Profanity, like slang, is a refuge of the under languaged. As a means of imparting energy to mules it is said to work well in some cases, and it is possible that it sometimes has a deter- rent value when used on men who are doing mischief, but what really counts in these cases is energy of spirit. More and more Panama looms up as the eighth wonder of the world, the one place where things are done as they should be, and where things that should not be done are not done. Trying and Doing RAGGS* You never know what you can do till you try. Waces: That's wrong. You never know what you can do till you suc- ceed. Braces: Well, perhaps that’s better. Wac And then you're wrong. You never know wi you can do when you succeed. You only know what you have been able to do. How to Be Rich UT all your eggs in one basket, and then place the basket in cold storage. to supply a list of the articles used by Miss Lillington in prison. Piano, furnished by Poundway Grand Company. Window curtains by Messrs. Plushem & Pinkeye. 48 by Beloochistan Manufacturin Company. Manicure sct by Piker & Piker, drugs. Holy Bible by the Columbia Revoly- ing Missionary Socicty. PART MORKOKS—ULPON HOKKORS (Other announcements later, These firms are all thoroughly reliable.) We publish herewith the only accu- rate diagram of the murder. A.—B B.—Prisoner’s brother-in-law. C.—Where the butler stood —>—Pickle fork at moment of enter- ing brother-in-law's heart fast table Small samples of prisoner's li erie breakfast gown which she wore when murder took place will be furnished in neat boxes on receipt of one year’s sub- comicbooks.com