Life, 1911-09-14 · page 18 of 46
Life — September 14, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This article satirizes **Colonel Green of Texas**, a wealthy man (son of the famously rich Hetty Green) who is shopping for a wife like he'd buy merchandise. He complains that modern women demand luxuries—clothes, cars, yachts, Newport cottages—and aren't skilled homemakers. **The satire's point**: Life magazine mocks Green's transactional view of marriage. The editors argue marriage isn't a business deal where one "over-reaches" the other. They note that wives legitimately expect to share in their husbands' wealth and lifestyle, and that childbearing and housework deserve compensation. The implicit criticism: Green wants a servant, not a partner. The accompanying cartoons (labeled "The Sheep" and "The Goats") appear to illustrate social types, while the lower cartoon labeled "Professor Bugg" jokes about caverns—likely a separate, unrelated comic. The article defends women's economic expectations in marriage against wealthy men's self-serving complaints.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
a . : ° He is too much out for a bargain, He dwells entirely on do for her. But marriage is not that kind of a trade. There Colonel Green, Son of Mrs. Hetty, Wants is profit of a certain mean sort in over-reaching a customer, One— He Can Find the Right Sort but no profit in over-reaching a wife. By Looking for Her in the Right Place Better not risk it, Colonel Green. You do not know this game of marriage. There is no something-for-nothing de- OLONEL GREEN of Texas, son of the redoubt- partment in it at all. You have to give yourself and what able Hetty, wants a wife—he says—and has you have and you get what you get and make the best of it. looked the market over and complains of the offerings. He xrumbles because contemporary women want “clothes—and then more clothes,” He Needed Help automobiles, yachts, cottages at Newport and AWYER TOXCLIEN' Were you present when your wife Bar Harbor. He sighs because New York you'r ea your's paid over the money? Cuext (confidentially) : Counsellor, vich vay iss de best? women such as he sees about the hotels and restaurants are probably unskilled in cooking and laundry work. “ W n,' he says, “should marry with the idea of having children and caring for a home.” Shucks! Colonel Green ought easily to find a wife to suit him. If he wants an able woman, a skilled cook and laun- dress, well able to bear children and keep a clean house, let him make a careful tour of the intelligence offices in New York. Admirable women of the kind he praises are con- stantly passing through these offices, and if he is a present- able man and can give a good character he ought to be able to engage one to marry h Colonel Green's mother has spent her life together and avoiding expenditure. If that is h he had better not try to marry at all. Single life is Children are an expense. Wives are apt to feel entitled to compensation for being wives. They are almost uni- prone, the greedy things, to want their share of life, share of whatever their husbands have. Since they are as they are, Colonel Green, as he appears in his criticisms Professor Bugg: ait, QUITE A CAVERN! MAY of women, will hardly seem to them an attractive partner. HAVE BEEN OCCUPIED AT ONE THATE comicbooks.com