Life — September 14, 1911 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

4220 + Ll Fe Engaged Exclusively by Life Miss Lydia Lillington Will Hereafter Furnish Sensations for This Paper —Will Stop at Noth- ing.—Look for Full and Disgusting Details Next Week, Guaranteed to Satisfy Every Morbid Craving ISS LYDIA LILLINGTON, one of the most beauti- ful women in America, has been engaged exclusiv y Lire. She will hereafter furnish all of our sensations, ranging in human interest from attempted suicide to shoot- ing her own husband . Miss Lillington understands the depths of the human heart beyond all other women. Our esteemed contem poraries are all wild with chagrin to think that Lire has engaged her permanently, They will continue as usual to depend for their sensations upon chance murders avd divorces, where the principal iady may be as homely as a hedge fence. Ry securing a beautiful woman as a regular contributor of sensations, it is generaliy admitted that Lire has orig- inated a brand new idea. Our readers will now be horri- ficd, disgusted, and morbidly pleased in a scientific manner. » awful detail will be omitted to increase our circulation. Miss Lillington is eminently fitted for the positi She was educated in a convent, has been a chorus girl for some years, has been married several times, and can read and write fairly well on the typewriter. She usual appears in public heavily veiled, but when the veil is drawn a wonderfully pathetic face is revealed—one also of tran- scendent beauty. Soft purple eyes, fringed by heavy, drop- ping eyelashes, clustering hair that when loosened falls to her feet in a wealth of radiating color, half parted lips, a lithe figure, tiny feet, and frightened-dove manner, are some of her strong points. She also dresses in th latest style. “Yes,” she sai tapping her velvet slipper with her parasol, “it at | have been engaged by Lire. Mr. Hearst wanted me, but I objected to appearing on the me page with Dr. Parkhurst. Even I have feelings. How did J acquire my talent for sensationalism? I was born with it. [think it was because I have always been mis- understood. What shall I do first? It wouldn't do for me to tell you now, but you will have full particulars next week.” Sensational developments may be expected. Firebugs, Attention, Please! HE fire loss for the United States and Canada jor the first seven months of this year was $155,000.00. It tively in July. Smokers are liberal purveyors of fire losses and im- was bigger than usual, forest fires contributing ¢ perfect electrical wiring does its share Be careful what becomes of that cigarette stump when throw it away, If you were so constituted that you could swallow it it would please the underwriters. But built as you are you can train yourself to put the fire out of every cigarette before or after you throw it down. That much you owe to civilization to do USINESS was invented for the sake of supplying the needs of the people. The needs of the people now exist for the sake of business. 1911. THE ARAB FOLDS IIIS TENT AND STEALS AWAY A Lincolt Road to Gettysburg HE Pennsylvania papers think that the most suitable mon ument to Lincoln would be a national highway from Washington to Gettysburg. They cite the Appian Way and other Roman roads as precedents for such a memorial. Such a road would run northerly from Washington about sixty- five miles through Maryland, and maybe fifteen miles into Pennsylvania. The automobile folks would like it and would doubtless inspect and admire it faithfully. But how would the rest of the people ever sce it? And how could it be made monumental and how permanent? The best modern road, navigable 10 automobiles, is one of the least permanent and We believe there is 900,000 available for a monument to Lincoln. Spread over least monumental of constructed things. seventy-five miles, wouldn't it run thin? It may be that a road to Gettysburg would be a fairly good thing to spend some Federal money on, ‘but as a monu- ment to Lincoln it seems to lack the indispensable qualities of visibility and permanence. & NO, GENTLE READER, THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT ENGAGED IN A VIOLENT FAMILY ROW. THEY ARE MERELY LISTENING WITH INTEREST TO WHAT THEIR NEIGHUORS ARE DISCUSS- ING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PARTITION. comicbooks.com