Life — August 17, 1911 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ce ol Unrivalled Rivalry UDGE GARY, of the Steel Trust, has been “in the news” a great deal lately, and many of his statements, both J sworn and casual, are quite sane, but the following trenches on credulity to a high degree competition, which has marked the Speaking of the cutthroat progress of our industry, he say “The era of this method of doing business, I believe, has passed. It is not nybody’s advantage to injure a rival; on the contrary everybody's efforts should tend toward a ‘al understanding, which by making transactions easier, would necessarily result in better production and cheaper prices.” What advantage to injure him? is the use of having a rival, if it is not to one’s If we were called upon suddenly to define “rival,” we might say: rival is a person (or corporation, perhaps) to injure whom is to one’s advantage.” Judge Gary's kind of rival suggests one of those Standard Oil “independent ” subsidiaries, whose anathema was heaped upon Standard Oil’s head, Profits were poured into Standard Oil's pockets And as for the cheaper prices which the good Judge men- tions, we realize that he merely offers them as an ethical pos- sibility, and we are convinced that he has no hope of con- verting the average stockholder whose business, to use the phrase of Mr. John D, Archbold, is to “ clamor for dividends.” Entailed Te United States Senate of 1999 is in session, The Senator from Lower Mexico arises and moves that a committee be appointed to investigate the charges grow- ing out of the election of William Lorimer. This is seconded by the Senator from Greenland. “Why do they: always appoint that committee?” man in the gallery “Nobody knows,” replies his companion, “It is a cus- tom handed down to us from away back in the past, and no- body has ever dared or cared to suggest that we abolish it.” but whose asks a by a secret process of our own—and in others we deal only with the husband. And in order to show our own faith in our business, we have only to say that we ourselves have been under treatment by our own methods for the past six weeks, with admirable success. Our last marriage, we regret to say, was not the idyllic affair that we anticipated. Although we have had a vast personal experience, we find even at this late day that we are as liable to make a mistake as anybody. One day it suddenly occurred to us that we might as well try our own cure. We consulted the tall, handsome blonde who has stood hy us in so many emergencies, and placed our- selves in charge of our head manager, with instructions to go ahead and do what was best. And all this while we were conducting a vast and increas- ing business. The result, while not yet completely successful, has far exceeded our expectations. We have hopes that cur wife will soon begin to see the error of her ways. In the meantime she is spending the summer at Narragansett Pier, while we arc keeping bachelor’s hall. We mention this trifling personal incident merely to show that no matter what business you are in, or how hopeless you — a) The Starter. PERSONAL PROPERTIES! KEEP TAILS INSIDE OP THE PARK ACCEPTS NO BLAME FOR LOSS OF SRE THAT YOUR HAIR IS ON TIGHT! car! may consider your case, you should consult us at once. Hundreds of husbands are now paying board and lodging in Reno who might be sitting by their own firesides, being read aloud to by the sweetest voices in the world. Call, write or wire. Huspanns’ Corresronpence Bureau. A Reckless Coroner PEAKING of the accident on the N.Y. N. H. & H.R. R., of which Mr. Charles Sanger Mellen is President, Coroner Wilson, of Bridgeport, in his verdict stated : “Were it not for the dangerous construction ard layout of said company, or had a longer cross-over been located there, such a catastrophe could not have happened.” We admire the Coroner’s courage in thus telling the truth It has long been suspected that the New Haven Road—of which Mr. Mellen is President—is more concerned with its dividends than the welfare of its passengers. Owing to the fact, however, that it controls most of New England, and is known as “Morgan's pet.” few people or papers are rash enough to tell the truth about its methods. B FORE we indorse Attorney General Wickersham’s sug- gestion that the Government have power to fix prices, we must know who is to have power to fix the Government. comicbooks.com